


Bring Me To Life

by buriednurbckyrd



Series: HYDRA Experiments [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut?, F/M, OFC - Freeform, Original Character(s), PTSD, Violence, descriptions of abuse/torture, pietro is alive because i said so, who am i kidding there will probably be smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-06-08 08:04:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 42,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6846307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buriednurbckyrd/pseuds/buriednurbckyrd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mission to a HYDRA lab takes an unexpected turn when one of their victims comes back to life.  Now she finds herself miraculously rescued from hell but can her mind heal like her body?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started reading MCU fics and got sucked down the rabbit hole and here we are. Unbetaed, all mistakes are my own.

_The sense of smell always seemed to be the first thing to come back. Smoke, and the coppery tang of blood filled her nose as her body began to breathe again._

_“Wait! This one is breathing again!”_

_“How? I checked every body, no one had a pulse!” She could hear again. The numbness wouldn't last much longer. Her lungs burned, begging to be filled with a good, deep breath. The pain flooded her body, throwing her completely back into consciousness._

The team watched in disbelief as one of the bodies in the wrecked lab gasped violently awake, a filthy hand jerked out and grabbed Natasha with an iron grip. _Help me,_ she begged in her mind, _please._

“She was dead. Steve, I swear it, she was dead.” _Duh._

“She clearly isn't now! We need to move! This whole place is going to collapse!” _Fall down, go boom._ Solid arms scooped her up and she started to laugh. The whole world was falling on her head and she laughed hysterically. 

“She's in shock. FRIDAY we need medical on stand by, there's a survivor.” 

“Watch it, Cap!” A wall crumbled and missed them by a few inches. She felt dust and debris fall against her cheeks and she fell silent. 

“Stay with me, kid, you're almost out!” _Oh, if only I could believe that._

…

Everything was soft and warm. It felt safe. Her fingers curled at her side, pulling fabric into her fist. They never gave her a blanket, let alone actual sheets. Maybe they finally succeeded and she was really dead this time. It took a lot of effort to open her eyes, and several moments before they would focus and she could see. It was a clean room, she flicked her eyes over and saw some kind of machine monitoring her vitals, but no surgical tools that she could see. So not heaven, but not the hell she had been in either. 

“Hello, there.” She bolted straight up, but stopped just as quickly. No restraints. She couldn't remember the last time she hadn't been strapped down to a bed. “Woah, careful, you're okay. I'm not going to hurt you.” She turned towards the voice. He held his hands up as if showing her they were empty. His deep brown eyes were kind, and his body language didn't seem threatening. She swallowed thickly and licked her chapped lips. 

“Where am I?” She winced at her rough voice. 

“Stark Tower.” Very slowly, obviously trying not to spook her, he reached over to the table beside him and picked up a plastic cup and reached out to hand it to her. Neither one of them moved while she debated on whether she would accept it or not. Eying the man seriously for a few moments, she lifted her hand and took it from him. They both knew that if he had tried to reassure her she would have scoffed. She sniffed at the contents and seemed satisfied that it was indeed, only water. The cool liquid felt like salvation and she tasted no additives. She looked back at the man and nodded in thanks. 

“Who are you?” 

“Dr. Banner, uh, you can call me Bruce though.” He shifted, leaning towards her bed, concern etched all over his face. “Do you know who you are?” She almost laughed, but it occurred to her that he actually cared. 

“No one's used my name in a long time, Doc, but I remember.” she swallowed more water. “Elizabeth. Beth.” A deep ache bloomed in her chest and she pressed her free hand against it. “Beth Fox.” 

“Nice to meet you, Beth. Do you remember what happened before you woke up here?” She felt all the warmth drain from her body. 

“Yes.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“No.”

“Okay.” He sat back. 

“Really?”

“Really.” Beth flopped back with a sound of disbelief. “You don't believe that?”

“Someone carted my ass out of a HYDRA lab, sorry, the burning remains of a HYDRA lab because I happened to rise from the dead at just the right moment. _But it's okay that I don't wanna talk about it._ ” 

“Sounds like you are talking about it.” Bruce smiled. 

“Yeah, well that's all you're getting.” 

“Do you mind if I tell you how you got here?”

“Knock yourself out.” 

“The team that infiltrated the HYDRA facility swept the wreckage searching for any survivors. You were found in one of many operating rooms along with several others.” He paused when he heard her mutter something under her breath. “Beth?”

“Nothing.” she waved her hand towards him. “Go on.”

“It appeared that no one had survived. We believe the scientists executed all of their...”

“Experiments.” Beth whispered bitterly. “Couldn't let their data fall into someone else's hands.” She rolled over and hugged herself. 

“Beth?”

“Just finish your story.” she snapped. She heard him sigh and start to move. “Don't touch me right now.” 

“One of our agents heard you cough. They carried you out. Brought you here.” _Watched bullets pop out of your skin. Watched burns disappear. Felt your bones realign and heal._

“And they all lived happily ever after. You wrapped that up awful quick, Doc.” 

He didn't seem to have any more to say, and the silence hung heavily in the room. Beth could almost taste the pity coming off of the doctor in waves like a strong odor. She wanted to scream, or cry though the years spent locked away had taught her that tears were useless. The lump rising in her throat was oddly comforting, though, like there was still something of herself, something _human_ left inside. 

“How long have I been here?” She finally asked. 

“You all landed about six hours ago.”

“Sounds about right. I bounce back pretty fast at this point.” 

“You're afraid we're going to put you through all sorts of tests.” She jerked her shoulder.

“Am I now?”

“I think I would be. You don't know me, or anyone here.” 

“Well I figure you're going to do what you're going to do. I'm just one little girl.” Despite her earlier warning she felt a gentle touch on her back. Anxiety rolled uneasily in her stomach but she sighed and turned back to look at the doctor. 

“I would like to briefly examine you, just to verify that you are in fact, healed.” He paused, but she just continued to stare blankly at him. “I give you my word that nothing will be done without your explicit consent. We're very interested in your abilities, but you aren't here to be dissected.” She desperately wanted to believe Dr. Banner but Beth had resigned herself to the life of being a HYDRA specimen a long time ago. In her world, people in positions of power didn't say please, didn't ask permission. 

“I guess I don't care if you wanna look me over.” He raised an eyebrow in response. “Fine. This is me, giving you, my _explicit consent_.” He nodded and stood up. There was a box of latex gloves sitting on the small table, he pulled a pair out and slipped them onto his hands. 

“All your stats are back to normal,” he gestured vaguely at the machine beside the bed. “Your temperature peaked at 110° by the way. I suppose it takes a lot of energy to… Do what you did.” She rolled her eyes and then seemed to ignore him. 

Bruce took her arm gently and manually checked her pulse. If he hadn't seen the pictures taken on the quinjet when the team realized what was happening, he wouldn't have believed that her body had been covered in burns, bruises, and abrasions. Within just a few hours her skin was completely smooth and unblemished. Natasha and Wanda had carefully cut the wool shift off of her and cleaned her the best they could before dressing her in scrubs and getting her into the bed. 

She didn't object when he checked all her limbs; bending her elbows and knees, and rotating her ankles. Her left leg had been shattered from the knee down but it was now in perfect working order. He absently thought that he would love to get her into an x-ray and maybe an MRI, but knew better than to push the issue. After looking in her eyes, ears, and mouth he started to unhook her from the monitor. When he stepped back from the bed and pulled off the gloves she swung her legs over the edge and stood up. 

“I'm gonna live, then?” The pant legs pooled over her feet, the top hung nearly to her knees. He estimated her height at about 5'2”, and she was delicately built. Very thin, most likely dangerously malnourished, and pale from a life spent imprisoned. Long dark hair, dirty and tangled fell past her shoulders to the middle of her back. Her eyes were a stormy gray flecked with blue. He saw lifetimes in those eyes, and a weary desperation. It was unsettling, and heartbreaking. “Stop staring at me.” He blinked and tried to gather his thoughts. 

“Sorry. You must be hungry,” he blurted out. “I could bring you something, or if you're up to it you can eat in the kitchen.” The mention of food made her stomach contract painfully. Her last meal had been days ago. The thought being around others made her nervous, she was still wary of the doctor, but being left alone in the room would be unbearable. 

“The kitchen. Please.” _Don't leave me in this room. Don't leave me chained to this bed._ His friendly smile felt genuine. No one at HYDRA had smiled. They had smirked, mouths twisted in some kind of sadistic pleasure. 

For the first time in years she felt something she thought had been cut out of her. Somewhere deep inside, she thought she felt hope.


	2. Chapter 2

Dr. Banner attempted to keep a conversation going with Beth while he led her to what everyone referred to as the community kitchen. She stuck mostly to shrugs and grunts, possible concentrating more on not tripping over the too long pants she was wearing. The elevator doors opened with a ding and she was immediately overwhelmed with the smell of hot food. Beth froze and stared, wide eyed, at the scene in front of her. 

A dark haired man and a red haired woman were engaged in a sort of tug of war with a pizza box. A tall, muscular man sat at a table with a plate of food. He looked annoyed, his jaw clenched and his shoulders tense. Two younger looking people sat huddled together watching the argument with some amused interest. The male half of the pair laughed with a mouthful of food and seemed to disappear and reappear in the time it took Beth to blink. He opened the box he now had, pulled out another piece of pizza and started eating enthusiastically, laughing again when the other two people squawked in protest. 

“Easy,” Bruce murmured. “That's Pietro, he's very fast.” Beth pulled away from him forcefully. “Pietro, please use normal speed for now.” He said louder. The noise died away and all eyes zeroed in on Bruce and Beth. In his excitement Pietro failed to heed the request and Beth ended up flat on her back when she recoiled from him being suddenly right in front of her face. 

“Many apologies!” He exclaimed. “I forget myself.” Before she could protest she was pulled back to her feet. “You look much better than before! You want pizza with extra cheese?” 

“Piet,” the young woman placed her hand on his arm and gently tugged him back. “Give her some space, and slow down.” She looked at Beth. “You do look better, I am glad to see this.” 

“I-” she broke off when she looked past them and her mind went blank. The people in the room with her seemed to fade away and she walked slowly towards the floor to ceiling windows and stood transfixed. She had no idea she was looking at New York City, spread out as far as she could see. The lights, she had never seen so many! Everything was color and chaos. Cars zipped along on the streets far below. It felt like being above the entire world. “I have never been so high,” she whispered mostly to herself. Her palms pressed against the cold glass. 

“Hey, fingerprints!” A deep voice pulled her out of her reverie and she snatched her hands back. 

“Tony...” Bruce groaned, and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Sorry, kid. Just messing with you.” 

“Who's the new girl?” Everyone turned. A tall man dressed in black and gray walked in from the other side of the large open space. He had shaggy dark hair, and piercing blue eyes. 

“This is, um, Beth.” Bruce seemed slightly thrown off by the mans arrival. “Beth, I already pointed out Pietro,” he grinned and waved his fingers at her. “That's his sister, Wanda,” the woman at his side nodded. “Tony and Natasha are there by the counter, and Steve is there at the table.” He paused with a small frown. “And that is Bucky.” Beth shifted, feeling uncomfortable with all the attention. 

“Uh, Hi.” The red haired woman Bruce had called Natasha walked over to her and gently took her arm, leading her over to the table. She surprised herself by letting her do it. “Thanks.” The woman gave her a small smile. 

“Would you like something to eat? Anything to drink?” Beth recognized the voice from the lab and she found herself remembering the last time she had been fed.

_The bread was stale and hard, it hurt her jaw to chew it. Today was one of those rare “lucky” days where they also gave her an unlabeled can of what could only be loosely described as meat, so she tried to soften the bread with the oily liquid at the bottom of the can. A dented tin cup held a stingy amount of rusty tasting water. She knew better than to try and save a single crumb; the one and only time they caught her attempt to ration they taunted her and didn't feed her for ten days. She made it six days before she started eating the roaches that scuttled around the cell._

She looked down at the plate Natasha set down in front of her. The anticipation swelled in her chest as she picked up the slice of pizza and sniffed it. She closed her eyes, the smell made her head swim. The first bite unleashed a desperate animal hunger and she couldn't stop herself from taking several fast bites. 

“Slow down, kid, you're gonna make yourself sick.” Tony laughed. It brought her back to herself and she winced at the cramp in her stomach. She hadn't had fresh, hot food since before HYDRA. 

“Milk.” Beth looked up at Natasha. “Can I have some milk?” A glass was set in front of her within moments. She didn't even stop to smell it before she gulped down a few mouthfuls. The creamy, cold liquid soothed the slight discomfort the greasy pizza had left. “What year is it?” She didn't know she wanted to ask until the question had already left her lips. 

“It's 2016.” 

“They took me in 2000. Not too long after my twelfth birthday.” The others looked at each other in stunned silence. _Sixteen years._

“You were a child.” She jerked her shoulder at Steve's horror. 

“Every time I think I can't be surprised by those monsters again, they go and prove me wrong.” Natasha said with a snarl. Bucky's jaw tightened in barely restrained rage. He slipped back silently and left the room. 

“You are safe here, little one,” Pietro told her, deliberately slowing his movements. He shot Tony a challenging look. “Right, Stark?” Confusion flickered across Tony's face.

“Hey, I wasn't gonna throw the kid out on the streets. What's with the hostility, Speedy?” Natasha moved between both men and held up her hands in warning. 

“That's enough. Of course she can stay here, as long as she needs,” she squeezed Beth's shoulder. “And as long as she wants.” She knelt down and waited for Beth to make eye contact. “You know they aren't going to just let you go.” Beth swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. “They know what you can do, and they're going to want you back.” 

“Nat!” 

“Those are the facts, Steve!” She snapped. “I'll do my damnedest to make sure they don't, but she knows better than most of us that HYDRA doesn't just cut their losses. Sugar coating it isn't going to help anyone.” 

“You're right.” Beth said quietly, before Steve could protest again. “They beat the hell out of me, shot me, burned me, and sliced me open knowing that the more injuries I had the longer it would take for me to come back. I screwed up their back up plan when you heard me cough.” She tapped Natasha on the arm. “Is there somewhere I can take a shower or something?” 

“Of course, I'll show you.” Beth got up to follow her, paused and looked over her shoulder at Bruce. 

“Thanks for… Thanks.” He blinked in surprise. She scurried out after Natasha before he could say anything. 

…

 

Hot water ran down her small frame and she felt the remaining grime rinse away from her skin. She scrubbed blood and dirt out of her hair, raking her nails over her scalp. The heat made her flush pink but she felt like the water couldn't be hot enough. They hadn't allowed her to bathe much, and when they had she was shoved into a filthy tile room and given about thirty seconds to shiver under an icy cold spray. They had also watched her; and unlike being stretched out naked on an examination table, the gaze had not been for scientific research. 

The steamy room seemed to muffle the dull thud of her knuckles smashing into the marble wall of the shower. She fell to her knees and tucked her face into her elbow, biting into her skin until the urge to scream her throat raw subsided. Unwilling to leave the warmth yet she finally gave in and wept bitter tears.

... 

Natasha waited patiently for Beth to finish in the bathroom. She couldn't blame the girl for indulging in a forty-five minute shower after sixteen years of hell. When the door finally opened and she stepped out wrapped in a thick towel Natasha had disposed of the comically large scrubs and had a stack of clothing she hoped would fit Beth better. 

“We're nearly the same height,” she said and held out a pair of soft leggings. “You're small, but these should fit for now.” Beth dropped the towel, completely indifferent to her nudity and held out her hand. She pulled the fabric over her pale legs and seemed satisfied. She took the plain white tee shirt and slipped it over her head. It was baggy, but it was comfortable.

“Thanks.” 

“I brought you some other things,” She picked up a small bag. “Tooth brush, tooth paste, a comb, stuff like that.” Beth grabbed at her hair. It was clean, but hopelessly tangled. She grimaced when she thought about trying to brush it out. “I could help with the hair,” Natasha said with a gentle smile. “There's a lot of it, isn't there?” Beth seemed to think about her offer for a few moments before replying with a single nod. “I thought you might like this room,” Natasha told her, gesturing to the bed at the other side. “If you open the curtains there's a really nice view of the city.” She began to work through her hair after they sat down on the plush mattress. “This is my private floor, but you're welcome to use this room as long as you like. I thought...” Natasha rested her hand on Beth's shoulder for a moment. “I thought you might feel better with someone around, for now. But still have your privacy.” Beth's eyes burned again, threatening to overflow. The simple kindness overwhelmed her, and part of her mind screamed that it was all an act to gain her trust. 

“I don't want to be alone,” she whispered. Deep down in her heart she felt safe and clung to the possibility of having someone that cared. That she might be able to trust. She burned with shame when she started to cry again. 

“Hey, shh...” Natasha rubbed her back in small circles. “Let it all go, you're safe here.” Beth continued to sob, and she continued to soothe and gently comb out her hair. 

When all the tangles were resolved Natasha deftly braided her hair into a thick plait. Beth's eyes were dry, and she was more than ready for sleep. Warm, clean, and full for the first time in years she felt herself succumbing to exhaustion. Natasha made to leave the room and paused at the door when she heard a small sound of alarm. 

“Don't close the door.” The fear was back in Beth's voice. Natasha nodded in assurance and left it open. 

She also left the hall light on, just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

She kept to herself the majority of the first week, and only seemed to leave her room to eat. Beth had a taste for sweets, especially Lucky Charms. Steve and Bruce would try to push her to eat more protein, placing plates of chicken or steak in front of her. She usually ate a few healthy bites but then stubbornly went to the cereal cupboard and poured a bowl of the sugary stuff. She ate around the marshmallow bits, saving them for last, and always drank the left over milk. 

Bucky had watched her the first time she found the courage to poke around the kitchen. After being reassured that she was allowed to help herself it still took her three days before she actually went looking. He, Steve, and Natasha sat still as statues knowing any comment on their part would spook her. When she pulled out the box of cereal Bucky watched her eyes light up with pleasure. The corners of his mouth curled into a fleeting smile. 

He found himself checking in on her a few times a day, just to see that she was settling in. Or so he told himself. She always seemed to be fresh from the shower, her damp hair either hanging in loose waves or braided into a thick rope. He heard Natasha ask her about her constant bathing and she looked down at her feet and flushed. 

“I just want to be clean.” She had whispered. 

That was something he could understand. For a long while after he had gained his freedom from HYDRA it seemed he could never find water hot enough to wash their filth from his skin.

On her ninth day with them everyone heard a terrified shriek. They found Beth cowering and a very confused Vision in one of the common areas. The android had finally returned from a solo mission. Natasha managed to calm her, and they all mentally kicked themselves for forgetting to warn her about Vision's appearance. He probably would have still startled her when he morphed through the walls but she would have been more prepared. 

After two full weeks Bucky started finding her exploring the tower, she seemed to especially like the ornate and pitifully underused library. The huge leather chairs swallowed her during the hours she spent devouring pages. Other times he spotted her drifting around like a ghost, running her hands over random objects as if she still couldn't believe where she was. 

Then one night she confronted him. Bucky still suffered from violent nightmares and upon waking from one it was nearly impossible for him to fall back to sleep. He shuffled into the kitchen, mind still stuck in the latest horror when he heard her soft voice.

“You keep following me.” His body went into defense mode, instinctively reaching for a weapon. It took a few seconds before he remembered where he was, longer for his heart to stop racing. She was sitting cross legged on the kitchen counter dipping oreos into cool whip. 

“What the hell are you doing?” He demanded, annoyed that she had caught him so off guard. 

“I couldn't sleep.” She jumped down and leveled a cool stare at him. “You keep following me.” 

“I'm sorry?” Bucky was surprised she was even speaking to him. She didn't talk much to any one except for Natasha or Wanda, more at ease with other women. 

“The others are very obvious when they check on me, but you sneak.” 

“I guess it's habit,” he shrugged. “Before I came here it was sneak or get your ass killed.” He moved around her and grabbed a bottle of water of the fridge. “Are you waiting for some kind of denial or apology?” Bucky cringed internally, he was still rusty with the whole human interaction thing. 

“No.” She put away her late night snack. “Just letting you know I see you.” Her bare feet padded almost silently across the floor and she vanished down a dark hallway. 

…

Beth stood in front of the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. She was wrapped in a terry cloth robe Wanda had given her. _I'll need my own clothes soon_ , she thought absently. She blew out an impatient breath and dropped the robe to the floor and stared at her reflection. It was the first time she was looking at her body since she was a girl. Somewhere in the back of her mind she saw herself as she had been, in her old life. She remembered knobby knees and what her mother had affectionately called 'baby fat'. Now she saw a slender, pale woman with subtle curves. She turned and looked over her shoulder. With a sigh she picked up the discarded robe and hung it on one of the wall hooks before getting dressed in more borrowed clothing. Bruce had asked her to visit the lab so he could do a health check. 

She walked down the hall to the elevator and looked around nervously. Tony had explained FRIDAY to her but talking to something she couldn't see made her uneasy. 

“FRIDAY?” She called out timidly. 

“Yes, Ms. Fox, how may I assist you?” 

“I need to go to Dr. Banner's lab?” She heard an affirmative sounding 'ding' and the elevator began to move. She liked the odd swooping feeling in her stomach she got when she rode the elevator. 

“Dr. Banner is waiting for you Ms. Fox.” FRIDAY told her and the doors slid open. Beth hadn't been to this part of the tower before, and it wasn't what she had been expecting. The HYDRA labs were cold and claustrophobic. Everything had looked dingy and old, like the equipment had been patched together from other machines. Dr. Banner worked in a bright, clean looking space. He greeted her with a gentle smile and gestured to an examination table. He pulled on a pair of gloves and asked her to open her mouth. She complied and he stuck a thermometer under her tongue. While it read her temperature he turned and typed some notes into her file. 

“What did you write?” She asked when he took the thermometer. 

“That you are looking much better than you did sixteen days ago.” He replied and shone a light into her eyes. “I'd like to weigh you, but it looks like you've gained at least five pounds,” his eyes gleamed with humor. “Must be all those cereal marshmallows.” He typed a little more. “I would also hypothesize that your healing ability has something to do with it. You're remarkably resilient.” She made a noncommittal sound. 

“Hey, kid, you finally came down to visit!” Tony sauntered in with a lazy grin and a steaming cup of coffee. She blushed. 

“Dr. Banner wanted to look me over.” She didn't know how to deal with Tony yet. Bruce made sure she knew exactly what he was going to do, but Tony was more spontaneous. 

“Nice of you to oblige,” he sat down on a rolling stool and scooted closer. “We gotta get you some of your own clothes, kid. Not that you don't look adorable in Nat's hand-me-downs, but the two of you aren't exactly built the same.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her. She laughed before she could stop herself, and slapped her hands over her mouth. Tony pretended to be shocked and grabbed the desk like he was going to faint. “Oh my god, fetch my smelling salts, the kid has a sense of humor!” It was the first time someone had really joked with her. 

“Sounds like you're jealous you can't squeeze your butt into Natasha's pants.” She smirked and raised an eyebrow at him. Tony looked surprised before throwing his head back in laughter. 

“I like this one, Banner. We need to keep her.” He stood up to leave and reached over to ruffle her hair. “You're all right, kid.” She felt a warm happy feeling spread through her chest when he winked at her and left chuckling. 

“Okay funny girl, let's get you on the scale.” Bruce couldn't contain his amusement, she looked very proud of herself. Beth stood patiently while he made some more notes on the computer. “Would you object to having some x-rays done?” He was prepared for her deny his request, but her blank expression gave nothing away. After a long pause she shrugged.

“Sure, let's take some pictures of some bones.” 

In the end he only ended up getting images of both of her arms. Her body tensed more and more every time he touched her to move her for a different angle. And when he moved to her lower body she started to tremble. The color drained from her face and she looked like she was struggling to not panic. 

“Beth, we don't have to do any more today, this is fine.” She sat up quickly and tried not to gasp for breath. Bruce patted her back gently, hoping that she wouldn't reject his attempt at comfort. 

“Sorry,” she mumbled miserably. 

“You don't need to apologize. You're in charge here, Beth. You set the boundaries.” He took a further chance and took her chin in his fingers and waited until her eyes lifted to meet his. “You're here so we can keep you safe, so you can try to have a life. I hope you'll let me give you periodic examinations because you interest me on a scientific level.” He pulled away and stuck his hands into his pockets. “I won't lie to you about that, you'd know it if I did, wouldn't you?” He felt a great deal of relief when her lips quirked. 

“Thanks.” 

“Just remember, you being here is in no way dependent on you indulging my curiosity, and I hope regardless of what you decide you want to do or not do, we can be friends.” 

“I guess I wouldn't hate that.” 

“I'm sorry if I scared you,” He said seriously. “I should have thought that through better, sometimes I forget to be a person instead of a scientist. From now on, you can tell me if you want to do any kind of research on your abilities, how does that sound?” 

“That sounds okay.” She stared at the hand he stuck out towards her. 

“I'm not much of a hugger, and the moment didn't feel right anyway.” She smiled again and took the offered handshake.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter of exposition, but I had fun writing it. Not sure if the next one will come out as quickly, but I have a good idea about how it's going to go.

Natasha and Wanda approached her the day after her near melt down in Bruce's lab. Beth was settled into her favorite chair in the library with a copy of _The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe_ when they found her. Wanda hadn't known the room existed. 

“I did not know Stark even liked books.” She said.

“You'd be surprised,” Natasha replied. “But I think the whole library thing is more of a status symbol. Everything in here practically screams 'I'm manly and rich'.” The two women looked around at the heavy dark wood, the leather furniture, the enormous fireplace, and in true Tony fashion, the wet bar. Despite the over the top decor, the room did manage to be inviting and comfortable. 

“Hello?” Beth called over to them. 

“Hello Beth!” Wanda walked quickly over to where she was sitting and pulled her out of the chair. “We are taking you for shopping!” She told her. Beth's eyes found the massive gilded grandfather clock.

“It's almost eleven o'clock at night.” 

“In the city that never sleeps, plus Tony called in a few favors. I heard lots of giggling from the other end of the call.” Natasha pretended to shudder. Beth could feel the anxiety rise. 

“I- There will be so many people in a New York City store.” Natasha rested a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 

“That was one of the favors. It's gonna be the three of us, and a couple of discreet employees to help.” Wanda nodded and grinned. “We won't leave your side, we promise.” 

“With pinkies!” Wanda hooked her little finger with Beth's. She gave a kind of watery smile to the women, they were clearly looking forward to this. And she wanted so desperately to do something normal. 

“Okay, that could be fun.” She flushed with pleasure when they wrapped their arms around her shoulders to lead her out of the room. It was like they were three regular girlfriends.

…

Natasha drove them in one of the several large black SUVs parked in the garage. Beth just stared out the windows with wide eyes. It was totally different being down on the ground than it was when she watched out the windows in the tower. From so high up everything swirled together into a colorful painting of lights. Down here it was noisy and vibrant. It both fascinated and terrified her, and she was thankful for the safety of the vehicle. She saw men in suits, in jeans, in uniforms. The untouchably cool fashionable women she had only seen in movies from her childhood. Natasha pointed things out to her while she navigated the people and other cars on the streets and she just soaked it all up. She had no urge to leave the plush interior and immerse herself into the urban jungle, it was too overwhelming, but the metal shell surrounding her made the experience tolerable, and she enjoyed every second. 

…

Natasha and Wanda whisked her from the car into the cavernous store before she had the chance to panic out in the chaos. It was cool and elegant inside, the walls muted the sounds of the city outside. In the store she was hit with a different kind of confusion, there were racks upon racks full of clothing. 

“Where do we even start?” She wondered aloud. Wanda slipped her hand into Beth's and squeezed. Natasha greeted the tidy woman that clicked out on high, skinny heels. 

“Good evening, ladies. We're so happy we could accommodate you on behalf of Mr. Stark. Please feel free to browse and don't hesitate to ask for assistance.” She made a wide sweeping gesture towards the endless displays. Natasha made an equally bubbly reply and rolled her eyes at Beth and Wanda behind the woman's back. 

“She is a nice lady, Natasha,” Wanda hissed after she had left them to begin their search. “Do not mock her like this.” Nat walked over to a pile of pants. 

“I didn't mean anything rude by it, well not to her. You didn't hear Tony on the phone, he was laying it on with a trowel. That lady's been Stark-no-tized,” She held a pair of jeans up to Beth. “May God have mercy on her soul.” Wanda giggled and flicked through some shirts. 

“I like Tony.” Beth said with a frown. 

“So do I,” Natasha replied. “But he's too charming for his own good.” Wanda came over with an arm full of soft fabric. 

“He has a great intelligence, but he does not always see the whole picture.” 

“So he's careless?” 

“No,” Natasha pulled Beth over to a changing room. “He sees the world in broad strokes and sometimes the finer details get overlooked. But,” she paused and made sure she had Beth's full attention. “He is a very loyal friend, in his own way.” The women stood outside the door while she shimmied into the clothes they had sent her in with. 

“Bruce is very nice.” She wasn't sure what else to talk about so she continued on the subject of the people in the tower. “I think he is sad, though.” She thought she heard Natasha sigh.

“That's a long story, Beth. I'll fill you in some time.” 

“I don't think I like jeans.” They heard after a few moments and they both laughed. “Why are they so stiff?” 

“They become more comfortable the more you wear them.” Wanda offered. Beth opened the door and stepped out in a pair of dark skinny jeans and a deep purple cashmere sweater. She tugged and fidgeted at herself. 

“I guess it looks okay.” She still wasn't sure how she felt in her own skin. “I like the leggings and stuff better...” 

“Why don't we get these, just for the option? Let's go find what you like.” 

They wandered into intimates. The employees had drifted out to take what they had already picked and disappeared just as quickly. Beth looked completely lost among the lace and silk. 

“I didn't even have boobs before they took me,” she fingered a midnight blue number. “I'm not sure I have any now...” She added under her breath. 

“Just covering the basics.” Natasha winked and picked up something that was clearly her size. “And maybe a few extras, shh.” Wanda held up something complicated with plenty of snaps and buttons. 

“What is the function?” She giggled some more and shimmed her shoulders. “I wonder if Vision would like?” 

“Vision?” 

“It is not a thing. Just a curiosity.” Wanda shrugged off Beth's questioning look with a wistful smile. 

“He's nice too. I feel bad that I screamed when I saw him. He brought me tea to the library.” Beth sat down on one of the round tufted ottomans dotted around the store. There were some more questions she wanted to ask, but she wasn't sure why, or what exactly they were. 

“Beth? Are you all right? Should we go back to the tower?” Natasha asked with worry in her voice. 

“Nothing's wrong… I was just wondering...” 

“About?” Beth bit her lip. 

“Bucky?”

“What about Bucky?” Natasha narrowed her eyes. “Did he upset you? Scare you?” Beth blinked in surprise. 

“No! I'm just… Curious.” How could she explain the swoopy feeling she got in her stomach when she noticed him looking at her? She couldn't explain it to herself. He looked sad too, in a different way from Bruce. His sadness made her feel different too. “He's very quiet.” She finished lamely. 

“That's not my story to tell.” Natasha wasn't sure she liked the look in Beth's eyes, but she couldn't deny certain parallels. “Bucky is a good guy, he's just a little rough around the edges.” She wasn't entirely sure she trusted him, but she trusted Steve, and Steve's best friend was still somewhere inside of him. Beth stood up and wandered around, browsing absentmindedly. She picked up some simple pieces that didn't look quite so… mature. She mulled over Natasha's words and decided to ignore the butterflies furiously beating their wings in her stomach, for the time being.

…  
Beth collapsed into bed, exhausted. There were too many shopping bags to deal with, they could wait until she after she slept for a few hours. She hugged a pillow to her chest and smiled into it, running through the past through hours in her head. Wanda had hugged her goodnight before heading off to the floor she shared with Pietro, telling her they would do it again. The idea that she could have real, actual friendships was irresistible. She drifted off full of hope and happiness. 

Which only meant the nightmares were that much more horrifying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUN...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some descriptions of what HYDRA did to her, and it isn't pretty...

_The light shone in her face and nearly blinded her. She had heard stories about people seeing a bright light when they died, but she never did, it was only there when she was brutally alive. The men never spoke to her unless it was to bark some kind of order at her if she struggled. Thick leather straps held down her limbs, biting into her flesh, but that pain was nothing compared to the work being done._

_“Procedure number 375. Removal of left and right kidney.” A harsh voice rattled off the relevant information to some kind of a recording device. The scalpel sliced into her and she screamed around the gag. Her arms flexed and she tried to twist her body away despite the restraints. The doctor worked methodically until she finally floated outside of herself. Her eyes went blank, she stopped screaming. In her peripheral vision she watched her organs being set onto stainless steel tray. They were measured and weighed while she lay, still bleeding, but the blood flow was slowing as her body began to knit itself back together. She imagined she could almost feel the stolen kidneys start to grow back. Sometimes it took hours, it depended on how large and complex the organ was._

_Suddenly she could move her head and when she turned her face to the side she saw dark curling hair just starting to go gray in a few places. An icy cold sensation grew in her flayed abdomen and spread throughout her body. When the man turned she saw his eyes; instead of the warm kindness she had become accustom to they were calculating and emotionless._

_“Thanks for the data, Beth,” Dr. Banner sneered. “You're an excellent patient.”_

Beth gasped violently awake and struggled to untwist her body from the blankets. She fell to the floor and pulled herself into the bathroom as quickly as she could, barely making it to the toilet before she started dry heaving. She spit acidic bile into the bowl and collapsed on the cool tiles, curling into herself and sobbing. She was clammy and shivering. _Notrealnotrealnotrealnotrealnotreal._ After a long while she straightened herself out until she was lying on her back and she ran her hands over her body, attempting to reassure herself that it was just a nightmare. She was whole. She was safe. Her heart was still racing she couldn't get a deep breath. The dreams she had had before were nothing like this, it was like being transported back to the HYDRA lab, like the past few weeks had never happened. 

It had felt so _real_. She could smell the blood. She could feel the bite of the knife and the frigid steel of the table. Then her mind had dealt the ultimate betrayal; using the face and voice of someone she liked and trusted to taunt her when she was starting to feel secure. 

The enormity of what had been done to her, what had been taken from her suddenly slammed into her like a freight train. Bright, hot rage welled up inside of her, replacing the sickening panic. That hadn't even been one of her most atrocious memories, there were far worst things rolling around in her head. Numb with anger she stood up and went looking for an outlet.

…

Bucky made it to four in the morning before his mind refused to let him stay in bed any longer. He pressed his flesh hand to his rolling stomach and dismissed the idea of an early breakfast. With a sigh he pulled on a pair of sweat pants and decided he would go knock the stuffing out of a punching bag. He could lose himself in the physical act, just for a little while. Until his demons quieted back down. 

It was unusual for any of the others to be in the gym before six, so he was surprised that he could hear someone already there. The dull sounds of fists coming into contact with the training dummy mixed with grunts and screams of frustration spilled out as he pushed open the door. He stood in wonder at what he saw. Beth was going at the dummy with a ferocity he could barely believe. Sweat poured down her body in rivers, plastering her tee shirt to her body. She threw punches like she had been born brawling. Her kicks lacked any kind of finesse, but they landed with an admirable amount of force. He thought about backing out quietly and leaving her to it when he heard a mournful sob. She sounded like a wounded and terrified animal. Before he could make his presence known she took one more jab and an ominous crack sounded. She hissed and grabbed her wrist.

“Hey!” Bucky called out in alarm, and she whipped around. For a split second he swore her eyes were black, but when he blinked all he saw was her normal gray eyes shining with misery. He rushed to her and took her arm to inspect her wrist. “Shit, we gotta get you to the Doc.” She snatched her arm away.

“It'll be healed before you get to the elevator.” He felt like an idiot.

“Right. Knee jerk reaction I guess.” He grabbed a towel from the basket by the door and handed it to her. She rolled the wrist that had been broken seconds before and took it. Completely indifferent to his company she peeled off the tee and dabbed at her chest and neck. The thin fabric of the white bralette left very little to the imagination, but kept the illusion of modesty. He lifted his eyes and stared at a spot about six inches above her head, just to be on the safe side. And pretended that he didn't notice how smooth her ivory skin looked. 

“I'll just leave you to it. I'm obviously done here.” She picked up her discarded shirt and rolled her eyes when he moved to block her from the door. “Did you want something?” 

“No. Did you?” 

“What could I possibly want right now, other than maybe a shower?” 

“I don't know, maybe there's something on your mind?” He saw her jaw clench and her knuckles turn white. “Kind of early to be down here, even Steve isn't that disciplined.” 

“What the hell are you doing here, then?” She exploded. “Maybe I just wanted a little bit of time alone! Maybe I just wanted to stop thinking for a while!” She practically vibrated with furious energy. 

“Maybe I wanted the same thing.” Bucky deliberately kept his voice low and calm. 

“Then let me leave you and you can have it.” He leaned back against the door and crossed his arms across his chest. He saw her eye his metal arm. 

“My HYDRA souvenir. Nice of them to replace my old one, huh?” 

“They don't do anything out of niceness.” 

“Don't I know it. The nastiest scars are on the inside, though, aren't they?” His casual tone caught her off guard. There was no trace of pity, she couldn't have stood it at this moment. 

“Yes. But I don't actually scar anyway.” She held up her hands. “They cut my these off once,” she said quietly. “They started small at first, a finger here and there, and then they finally took the plunge, I don't know if they cared if I could grow them back at that point. I can't tell you exactly how long it took for them to come back, there weren't any clocks available to me. Hands are fairly complicated so it took a while. I heard them talk about trying a whole arm, but lucky me, they never got around to it.” 

Her flat, unemotional tone made his blood run cold. The image of this delicate young woman in the hands of those monsters, and those hands cutting her into pieces, filled him with a madness that felt like it could consume him. Before he could hold it back he turned and put his metal fist into the solid concrete wall. The limb vibrated from his fingers up to his shoulder, but gave him no satisfaction. He let his forehead fall against the wall and tried to slow his breathing, desperate to keep control of himself. The touch of her hands on his back shocked him back to the moment. 

“I'm sorry. I didn't tell you that to upset you. It just started coming and I had to get it out.” When he didn't respond, she ran her fingers over the cool metal. She traced her fingertips along every ridge until she gently gripped his wrist and pulled it away from the wall. He turned to face her, towering over her petite frame. She unfolded the artificial fingers and pressed her palm to his. “I guess we both have new ones,” She said quietly and met his gaze. “I had a nightmare.” Bucky swallowed hard and nodded. 

“I had a feeling.”

“They took my… it doesn't matter. But it was like I could feel everything, like I was really back in that place. Then I could move my head.” She pulled her hand away from his and wrapped her arms around herself. “I could never move my head, they strapped me down so I couldn't move. But in the dream I looked over and it wasn't HYDRA. It was Dr. Banner.” Her eyes filled with tears. Bucky astonished the both of them and pulled her against his chest in an embrace. 

“I had one where Stark was running the electroshock. I couldn't look at him for two weeks.” He murmured. In the back of his mind he hoped no one came in and found them like this, he had no idea how he could explain what was happening. When she wrapped her arms around his waist and let out a shaky breath, he felt his heart stutter in his chest. _Uh-oh._

“I had so much fun last night with Natasha and Wanda, and my stupid brain had to ruin it.” She mumbled. 

“My brain is stupid most of the time. Ruins a lot of stuff.” 

“How do you stand it?” 

“I beat the hell out of Bob sometimes, like you did. Punching stuff seems to be my go to.” She looked up at him with a wry smirk. 

“Maybe you should take up knitting.” 

“How do you know I haven't?” His heart did that thing again when she giggled. “How about next time you feel like you need to go a few rounds you come find me? I'll teach you how to do it right so you don't hurt yourself.” She arched a brow at him. “Yeah, I know you'll just heal, but there's no point in doing something if you aren't going to do it right.” He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Besides, maybe you'll feel better if you learn some self defense. Just get in the elevator and tell FRIDAY you want my floor. Second door on the right.” Beth nodded and her lips curved into a genuine smile. She lifted her hands to his shoulders, went up on her tip toes and pressed a warm kiss to his cheek. 

“Thanks, Bucky. I think I'm gonna go try and get some more sleep.” He watched her leave, waiting until the door closed behind her before he rubbed his hand over the spot where her lips had touched his skin. 

_This is a problem._


	6. Chapter 6

The atmosphere in the kitchen was tense when Bucky wandered in searching for coffee and food. Tony and Steve were clearly in the middle of a heated argument, both gesturing at an ordinary looking folder sitting on the counter. Bruce was sipping a cup of tea and rolling his eyes at the two of them. 

“Do you know how much shit I had to did through to find this information?” Tony spat, his hands scrubbed over his face in frustration. 

“I'm sure it wasn't easy, but we can't just jump into a fight over it without thinking things through!” Steve yelled back, trying and failing to keep his voice down. 

“It makes my fucking skin crawl, how can you both just sit there knowing what we know and tell me to do nothing?” Bruce set his mug down so hard the handle snapped off. Tony and Steve immediately backed away from each other and muttered apologies at the doctor. 

“No one is suggesting we do nothing,” he said quietly and willed the Other Guy to stay tucked away. They didn't need to deal with _him_ on top of everything else. “But if we act rashly, nothing will be solved. No one will get justice, least of all the young lady that truly deserves it.” 

“You're talking about Beth,” Bucky's voice startled all three men. “You found something on her.” He stared at the folder and his hands itched to open it up and see what Tony had discovered. Steve reached out and pulled the papers closer to him, his best friend's expression caused him some concern. “Don't worry, I wasn't thinking about getting all assassinate-y.” He rolled his eyes and forced himself to walk away to pour himself some coffee. It had stung more than he would ever admit. 

“I didn't think you were.” Steve said carefully. Bucky grunted in response and gulped down the hot, bitter liquid. He didn't even want to read it, exactly… Beth had been violated in almost every way possible, and while someone did need to look into her past so they could figure out how to help her, he didn't want to read about it in a report. It would feel like an invasion of her privacy. _If she wants me to know about her, then she'll tell me_ , he thought. And that was that. He poked through the cupboards looking for something to eat and chuckled to himself when he saw that someone had stocked up on Lucky Charms. He decided on a bagel and cream cheese. Bruce and Tony made some vague noises about 'going to the lab' and took their leave. Bucky sat down with his toasted bagel and began eating in silence. Steve took the seat across from him and rested his forehead against one of his hands with a deep sigh. 

“Look, Buck...” He trailed off, trying to find the right words. “It isn't that we don't trust you, that I don't trust you. The progress you've made has been incredible.” He looked over at his friend with pleading eyes. “If it didn't involve HYDRA I wouldn't hesitate.” 

“I get it.” But it hurt. 

“Are we good?” Bucky groaned and crumpled up his paper plate. 

“Yeah, Captain. We're good.” He said sarcastically. When Steve made no reply he made an impatient sound and mimed knocking his head against the table. “Yes! We're good!” He pushed away from the table but paused when Steve shot him a helpless look. “Really, don't worry about me.” He smirked. “Punk.” Steve grinned as Bucky walked away. 

…

He honestly didn't know that he was heading to the library until he was standing in front of the open door way. Beth was pacing in front of the shelves, her eyes scanning the titles. Vision landed next to her and handed her a book. 

“Oh, thank you.” She smiled at the android and Bucky felt a small pang of jealousy. He cursed himself for being irrational. 

“You are most welcome, Ms. Fox. Do not hesitate if you require further assistance.” Vision phased out of view and Bucky cleared his throat. 

“Hi Bucky,” she held up the book. “Vision was helping me find _Jane Eyre_.” She sat in her favorite chair and pulled her legs up. Bucky stood awkwardly and she let out a quiet laugh. “Were you looking for me?” 

“No...” He crept closer and rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. 

“Okay.” She opened her book and started to read. Bucky looked around the room, feeling foolish. _What the hell am I doing here?_ After another few minutes he sat down in the chair beside hers. She looked up from the pages.

“How many of these have you read so far?” 

“I'm not sure, I read pretty fast. Eight or nine, I think.” 

“You read a lot.”

“Books don't change,” she said wistfully. “Everything else did.” She traced her fingers over the cover. “My Mother read to me. She loved the classics.” Beth grinned and her eyes sparkled with humor. “She liked romance novels in secret. I found some in her sock drawer when I was ten. They were probably pretty tame by today's standards but I thought they were the raciest things I had ever seen. I sure learned more about men and women from those than I ever did from Disney movies...” She trailed off and looked away. He saw her eyes fill with tears.

“You miss her.”

“More than anything.” She played with the end of her braid. “My Dad died in a car accident when I was three and we moved around a lot after that. All we had was each other.” She wiped her eyes. “I don't really want to talk about this. I guess I got caught up in the memories.” Bucky nodded and sat back, letting himself sink into the buttery leather. 

“I think I'm just going to sit here, if that's all right with you.” 

“I don't mind- wait.” She set the book on the arm of her chair and got up. She pulled another book off the shelves and brought it to him. “ _The Hobbit_. It's one of my favorites. I think you might like it.” She smiled when Bucky took it from her. When their fingers touched he felt that odd, giddy sensation again. He looked down at the book with skepticism, he wasn't much of a reader back before the war and it wasn't like HYDRA had a lending library. “Trust me, just give it a try.” She looked so earnest that he couldn't refuse. 

“What the hell, I don't got anything better to do. I mean...” _Nice one, jackass._

“Don't worry, I know what you meant.” She curled back up in her chair and picked up _Jane Eyre_. “And I won't be offended if you don't like it.” She reassured him with a small smile before she turned back to the story. Concentrating on not damaging any of the pages with his metal hand, he opened the book, and with his mind swirling with emotions he didn't want to examine too closely, began to read. 

…

Several hours later, that's where Natasha found them. She was dumbfounded at the sight of Bucky, _The Winter Solider_ , engrossed in a novel. He wasn't as fast a reader as she was but he found himself enjoying the story. He did need to interrupt her every so often to ask her what some of the words were, he was very intelligent, but some of the terminology went way over his head. Nat hadn't seen Beth look so relaxed as she did sitting with Bucky in the library. She decided it was time to just accept the way things seemed to be going, maybe two broken people could build each other up. 

“Beth?” The two of them looked up, startled out of their quiet serenity. “Sorry, I just came to tell you I need to leave for a few days.” 

“Where are you going?” 

“Ah… I just need to take care of something. Shouldn't take more than a week.” Beth narrowed her eyes suspiciously. 

“Something dangerous.” 

“Not necessarily, I'm always careful.” 

“When do you have to leave?” Bucky asked her. 

“I should be leaving now, actually. I just wanted to let you know,” she told Beth. “I didn't want you to think I snuck out.” 

“Thank you. Um… stay safe, okay?” Natasha flashed her a confident smile. 

“I intend to. I'll check in with Steve if I can, and I'll be back in week, tops.” She gave a little wave and left the room. 

“Guess it was going to happen sooner or later, huh?” 

“It's the way of life around here. People need help, someone goes to help.” 

“Like you helped me.” 

“I didn't have anything to do with that,” Bucky replied tightly. “They like to keep me away from HYDRA.” _'For your own good.'_

“I wish I could have seen those bastards bleed and burn.” She said furiously. The anger in her swelled so quickly it made her dizzy. Her fingers dug into the leather so hard Bucky swore he could hear her joints crack. He cautiously reached out and grabbed her forearm. She whipped her face around and snarled. 

“You're never going back there,” he swore. “I'll die first.” 

“I hate them.” 

“Me too.” He tugged her arm. “Come here.” She got up and let him pull her onto his lap. He was absolutely positive that he should have been pushing her as far away from him as he could, but something about the damaged, angry woman made him want to hold on for all he was worth. “Natasha is going to be fine, by the way. She's a tough broad.” Beth snorted and curled into his chest.

“Broad? Really?” 

“Yep. _Doll_.” 

“All right then, _Fella_.” He chuckled and poked her in the stomach. “Hey, Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we go beat the shit out of Bob?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW. So I didn't think I was going to finish this chapter *this fast* but I started typing and it just kept coming. I really hope you all like it! 
> 
> (zaichik = bunny)

Bucky yawned and stretched at the table. Steve looked briefly at him over the top of his paper, and flicked his eyes back to the daily news. 

“Rough night?” Bucky shook his head and took a sip of his coffee. 

“Not at all. I can't remember sleeping that good, actually.” Natasha had been gone for six days. It made Beth anxious, being alone on the floor at night, so she kept asking him to go train. She would go until her mind and body were tired enough to sleep. He would watch her stumble out of the elevator and down the hall to her room night after night. 

“Spending a lot of time with Beth, I've noticed.” Steve's offhanded tone did nothing to fool his best friend. 

“So?” He challenged. Steve shrugged and folded the paper. 

“So, nothing. Just an observation.” Bucky huffed and pulled the discarded paper towards himself. He didn't show much interest in it most days, but it might distract him from the thoughts bubbling up in his mind. 

Beth moved like a cat, sleek and efficient. Her wide, gray eyes missed nothing, and her sharp mind forgot nothing. He only needed to demonstrate a move once and it was committed to her memory. She was small but it seemed like she gained strength with every session. _Banner might be interested in that information_ , he thought. _Could have something to do with her other abilities_. He rubbed his hand over his jaw and grinned, remembering the previous night. She demanded they spar, and when she noticed he was holding back she faked him out and clocked him with an uppercut. He was pulled from his thoughts when Steve cleared his throat. 

“What?” 

“Pietro wants to know if you want him to bring you back anything from that bakery down the street.” Bucky blinked in surprise, the twins were standing beside the table right in front of him. 

“Oh, sure. A bear claw if they have any.” 

“Good morning, Beth. Piet is going out for pastries, would you like anything?” Wanda greeted the woman as she slid into the chair next to Bucky. Her dark hair fell in messy waves, and she brushed it back with a yawn. 

“The biggest cinnamon bun they have,” She smiled sleepily at the silver haired man. “Thank you.” 

“It is no problem, zaichik. I will be back!” He disappeared in a blur. 

“I don't know how you eat all that sugar,” Steve chuckled. “But I guess you don't get cavities.” Beth yawned again and Wanda sat next to her with two steaming mugs of coffee. 

“Thanks, Wanda,” she said happily. “Nah, no cavities. It's a nice perk.” She added generous amounts of cream and sugar to her cup. “Have you heard anything from Natasha?” Steve shook his head. 

“No, sorry, nothing directly. Our contact has, so there's no reason to worry.” Beth fiddled with the spoon. 

“I was hoping she'd be back by now...” Wanda laid a hand over hers. 

“If you do not want to be alone you are welcome to come stay near me.” 

“I'm okay, really. She'll be back soon.” Bucky let out the breath he didn't realize he had been holding. If she had taken Wanda's offer it might have meant the end of their nightly sessions. Of course once Natasha returned, they would probably stop anyway. He noticed Steve giving him a significant look. He just barely resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at him before Pietro zipped back in with two large white boxes. 

“I thought I would die in that line!” He cried dramatically. 

“You were literally gone for three minutes.” His sister laughed. “You did remember to pay, yes?” 

“I am no thief!” He looked scandalized at the very suggestion. “I get all you ask for, and some extra.” He winked at Beth and it made Bucky want to growl at him. Steve and Wanda each bit into large blueberry muffins. 

“Ahh, yes. Thanks, P.” Beth pulled a piece of the huge bun off and made a sound so close to a moan when it hit her tongue, it made heat creep up Bucky's neck. She licked the sticky cinnamon filling and creamy icing off her fingers, humming with pleasure. “Why do we eat anything else?” She wondered aloud, and took another bite. 

“Man can not live on cinnamon bun alone.” Steve said. 

“Maybe woman can,” Beth retorted with a cheeky grin. “What else did you get, maybe someone should take something to Tony and Bruce. Are they already working in the lab?” 

“Still working, I don't think either one of them left to sleep.” 

“There is another blueberry muffin and an extra bear claw,” Pietro said. “I got the other bun for you.” Another wink. Bucky chewed the inside of his cheek. 

“Bucky? Could you help me bring these to them, and maybe some fresh coffee? I don't have enough hands.” The other people faded in his sight when she smiled at him. _I'm so fucking toast._

“Sure,” he answered and hoped she couldn't hear his pounding heart. “The science guys could probably use a break.” 

…

After finishing their breakfasts, Beth handed him a thermos full of hot coffee and picked up the box of pastries. She thanked Pietro again, this time with a slightly awkward hug. His mild jealousy was soothed, she didn't hesitate when she hugged him. When they stepped off the elevator near the labs they heard a loud crash and a yell from Tony. They watched a stool fly across the lab and smack against the thick glass of the walls. 

“FRIDAY! Code green!” Tony bellowed and scrambled to get out of the lab, slamming the door behind him and hitting a big red button on the wall. Bucky pushed Beth behind him. 

“Get in the elevator, get away from here!” 

“What's a code green?” She cried. Shock had her glued to the spot when a gigantic green man thrashed around the room, throwing tables and scattering equipment. “Where's Bruce? What's happening?” 

“That _is_ Bruce.” Tony slumped against the wall and gasped for breath. 

“What caused it this time?” Bucky managed to ask, still trying to nudge Beth back on the elevator. “Please tell me you didn't prank him again?” 

“No I did not prank him, old man. He's overworking himself again, he's exhausted. He's been on a hair trigger for days.” 

“How are we going to get him into the panic room without Natasha?” 

“I don't think we can, the other guy's just gonna have to tire himself out.” 

“You're hurt.” Both men looked over at Beth, her eyes full of tears. Tony pressed a hand to his side and winced. 

“He got me good with that stool before he threw it. Rib's probably broken. You should get out of here, kid, you don't need to see this.” 

“Tony's right, Beth, go find Wanda-” Bucky's voice caught in his throat. A bright, silver light overtook Beth's eyes and she reached out her hands. 

“You're hurt.” She said again, and pulled Tony's shirt open, buttons went flying.

“Beth?” Bucky called to her but he wasn't sure she could hear him. Tony could only stare at her, open mouthed. The same silver aura formed in her palms, until her hands shone like her eyes. She pressed her palms to the ugly bruise on Tony's side and the man almost immediately sighed in relief. Beth sucked in a deep breath and stepped back, breaking the skin to skin contact. Bucky watched in disbelief as the bruise faded, like she was pulling the injury out of Tony's body. She let the air out of her lungs and her hands returned to normal. Her eyes still glowing, she walked over to the door. 

“Open the door,” she ordered. 

“Emergency protocol in place, the door can not be opened.” 

“Open. The door.” Her voice grew deeper, it sounded like it belonged to a different person. 

“Emergency protocol-”

“FRIDAY, emergency protocol override. Open the door.” Tony snapped.

“What the hell? You can't just let her go in there!” Bucky rushed forward, trying to pull Beth back. 

“Just wait a minute!” Tony wrapped his arms around his waist to stop him. 

Beth walked slowly and sedately towards the rampaging Hulk. She looked like a tiny doll compared to the giant, but she didn't even flinch while he roared and threw things. 

“ _Dr. Banner_ ,” when she spoke it was like two voices came out. Bucky could hear Beth, but that peculiar other voice molded itself around hers. “ _Look at me_.” She lifted her arm and the light appeared in the palm of her hand. “ _Be calm._ ” The Hulk panted and glared at her. A huge green hand swung towards her and Bucky panicked, but she simply dodged and lifted her hand again. He couldn't breath. He was absolutely frozen in terror, but she just stood her ground and held her hand out towards the enormous man. The stand off went on for several minutes, Tony and Bucky just watching helplessly. Finally, The Hulk's demeanor seemed to shift and he reached out with his index finger. Beth took the large digit into her hands and the light spread out from her touch, swirling up The Hulk's massive arm. The beast groaned, but it wasn't a sound of pain. They watched as he began to shrink, and the green faded until Bruce collapsed into a heap on the floor. Beth turned away and looked back at Tony and Bucky. 

“He needs to sleep now.” Her voice was normal again. The silver drained out of her eyes until her regular gray blue returned. Then they rolled back and she fainted.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone that takes the time to leave comments, they really help keep me motivated to continue writing! Hope you enjoy this new chapter <3

Beth groaned and opened her eyes. The room was only dimly lit, but it made her head throb and her stomach roll. She gagged and tried to sit up. 

“Okay, sweetie, let it out...” Gentle hands rubbed her back and a basin was pushed in front of her. She started to feel better once it was out of her. “You sure know how to welcome a girl home!” Beth rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand and took the offered bottle of water. 

“Natasha?”

“Back with almost twenty four hours to spare,” the red head told her. “Sounds like I missed plenty of excitement here, though.” The events from the morning came rushing back to her and she shot out of bed. 

“How is Bruce? And Tony? Oh, god, Bucky? What did I do?” She ran to the door and stopped only when Natasha grabbed her arm.

“Slow down, every one is perfectly fine, thanks to you actually. Bruce is… Embarrassed,” she sighed. “To say the least.”

“Tony?” 

“A little red mark on his side that Bucky said was a giant bruise and at least one broken rib before you worked your magic. What _did_ you do?” Beth pressed a hand to her forehead and shook her head.

“I don't know.” Natasha rubbed her arms, trying to comfort her. 

“Listen, why don't you take a shower and get some fresh clothes on. You were burning up after you fainted. Then you come down and we'll all talk.” She nodded and Natasha gave her arm one last squeeze before she left her alone. 

She didn't realize how grungy she was until she stepped under the cool spray. Her headache faded as she cleansed her body, and her stomach felt like it was back to normal. She was even hungry. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel and took her time combing out her long, thick hair. She wasn't sure what they were all going to _talk about_ , and it made her uneasy. Would they want to start studying her? A cold ball of dread formed around her heart. What if they thought she could be dangerous? Sure, she healed Tony, but she couldn't explain it. Would they believe that? She swallowed the sob that bubbled up in her throat. Nothing would be solved if she just sat in a damp towel in her room. She pulled on a pair of soft black sweat pants and her favorite tee shirt. To anxious to braid her hair, she left it loose. Taking a deep breath to center herself, she opened her door and yelped in surprise. Bucky was waiting in the hall, arms crossed, tapping his fingers against his bionic arm. 

“Buh-” she was cut off when he pulled her against his chest. 

“You were so white.” He mumbled against the top of her head. “You just went down so fast and your skin felt like it was on fire.” He stepped back and brushed a thumb over her cheek. “Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, I just had to see you.” She was so small, and he had been so afraid for her. When her arms went around him and she nuzzled against his chest he finally felt calm again. He had driven Steve nearly mad with his endless pacing over the past few hours. When Natasha came down and told them she was awake he had to go up to her to see for himself. Now, breathing in the light scent of the soap she used he found himself struggling to let her go. 

“I didn't mean to scare you.” He heard her say sadly. 

“Shh. Just… hold on to me for another minute.” Beth tightened her arms around him. 

…

When the two of them stepped off of the elevator, she thought her stomach might turn again. The rest of the group were all sitting and waiting with serious expressions. But Bucky's hand was in hers and it gave her the strength to join the discussion. She sat down in the empty chair and he stood behind her in silent support. She noticed Bruce avoided making eye contact. 

“Beth,” Tony began.

“Please don't send me away!” She blurted out desperately. Everyone looked at her in confusion. 

“We would never send you away!” Natasha exclaimed. 

“You're kind of stuck with us, kid.” Tony told her with a reassuring smile. “We just want to ask you a few questions, that's all.” She looked over her shoulder at Bucky. He nodded in encouragement. 

“Oh-okay.” 

“You remember what happened?” Tony asked. 

“Yes. Bruce was...” 

“Green. Enormous.” Natasha punched Tony in the arm. “Sorry! Jeez, just trying to get her side of it.” 

“Bruce was distressed,” Beth said tactfully. “And you were hurt.” Bruce made a miserable sound and dropped his face into his hands. Natasha put her arm around him. “I couldn't stand it, seeing you both in pain. I just got overwhelmed with-” She broke off and stared at her hands like she had never really seen them before. “I felt so much _energy_.” 

“How did you know what to do?” 

“I-I don't really know. Suddenly I could see your injury. It was all red. It was solid and I could just reach out and take it.” 

“You took the injury out of his body?” Steve wondered aloud. 

“Yes? I'm not sure how else to describe it.” 

“What about Bruce?” Beth was quiet for a few seconds, trying to figure out how to put it into words. 

“His brain was purple and chaotic.” She frowned. “And so tired. I could feel how exhausted he was. So I just thought, _calm_ , and sent it to him.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I can't tell you more, I just don't know.” 

“You are a healer,” Wanda said with awe. “You have great power.” 

“This has never happened before?” Natasha asked her. 

“Never.” 

“Her voice sounded different.” Bucky said. “Like she had two voices.” Bruce finally spoke up. 

“I think that was a side effect of the energy her body was producing. I would hypothesize that her entire body was vibrating on a different frequency- resulting in the audio phenomenon.” He clenched his fists so tight his knuckles cracked. “If I hadn't been the cause of this whole mess I might have a stronger theory.”

“Bruce...” Natasha laid a hand on top of his but he pulled away. 

“I'm going to bed.” He pushed himself up from the sofa and stalked off. Natasha started to get up but changed her mind. 

“I'll talk to him in the morning. It won't do any good right now.” The sadness in her eyes made Beth feel terrible. 

“I'm so sorry, for everything.” Before anyone could protest, Bucky was kneeling in front of her, holding her hands between his. 

“You did nothing wrong. You saved Tony from weeks, if not months of agony, and Bruce from himself. He isn't upset with you, no one is.” When she met his eyes he saw fear. “Beth,” he murmured. “No one is going to demand more than you can give. You aren't a test subject, you're important to us.” _You're important to me._

“Bucky is right, we all just want you to feel safe. You're our friend, and it has nothing to do with what you can or can't do.” Natasha told her. 

“If I couldn't do all these things I wouldn't even be here.” 

“That's not the point, Beth.” Steve said wearily. “No matter how you got here, _you're here._ Do you think we all just materialized in this tower? Every one of us has a past, we just do our best to deal with them. The silver lining of the whole situation is that we have each other to lean on right now.” She looked down at Bucky's and her hands. The contrast of his warm, rough flesh and the cool, smooth metal made her feel grounded. 

“I can't tell you how much I appreciate all you've done for me,” she said quietly. “You saved me.” 

“My ribs are very thankful for that fact.” Tony joked, trying to cut the tension. Beth's lips curved into a tiny smile. 

“Will Bruce be all right?” She asked. 

“Eventually,” Natasha answered with a long sigh. “He hates losing control.” They all started to talk at once then, all their words just buzzed in the air around Beth. She squeezed Bucky's hands. When he met her gaze again he found himself lost in the endless depths of her eyes. 

…

Sometime during a noisy dinner of greasy Chinese take out Beth had simply vanished. Bucky didn't realize she was gone until they started to pass out fortune cookies. Her empty plate sat next to him and he wondered how he hadn't noticed when she got up to leave. He was hyper aware of her presence. He took two of the cookies and got in the elevator. 

“Hey FRIDAY, can you tell me where Beth is?” 

“Ms. Fox is currently on the roof of the tower.” 

“Take me to the roof, then.” 

She was just standing there looking up at the sky. Her hair blew behind her like a dark cape. She was still in a tee shirt and sweats but he didn't think he had ever seen anyone look more angelic. When he was standing next to her he noticed her eyes were closed. 

“You can't really see the stars here.” She said. 

“The city is too bright, makes it hard to see them.” 

“It's so beautiful here, but I guess there's always a catch.” 

“I brought our fortune cookies up here,” he said, at a loss. “You left before we could open them.” She opened her eyes and turned to him, holding out her hand. Not saying a word, they both tore open the plastic and broke their cookies open. 

“'Anything is possible with a willing heart.'” She read.

“Sometimes a stranger can bring great meaning to your life.” He replied. They stood silently in the wind for a few minutes until he reached out and grabbed her hand. “Come on.” He said and pulled her towards the door. 

“What? Where are we going?” She jogged to keep up with his long stride. 

“Somewhere you can see some stars.”


	9. Chapter 9

He told her to meet him in the garage, she needed shoes. Ditching her baggy sweats she slipped into a thick pair of leggings and pulled on the boots Wanda had picked out for her. She fidgeted in front of the mirror for a few moments, wondering if leaving the tower with Bucky was a good idea. If leaving at all was a good idea. Her heart was racing, but she didn't feel frightened. It was excitement. 

…

Bucky closed the saddle bag and checked over the bike. He was so nervous, second guessing his spontaneous decision to take her out of the tower. He didn't want to just leave without saying anything, but he was afraid they wouldn't let them go. When he heard the elevator his heart leaped into his throat, only to fall into his stomach when Natasha stepped out. 

“Going somewhere?” She asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Um...” 

“Look, I'm not going to try to stop you. Just be careful, and be smart. She's not some kind of prisoner here, but we both know HYDRA is looking.” 

“I know.” 

“Don't tell me where you're going, just keep your phone on. I don't want to have to lie if someone asks me where you went.” She smirked and patted his cheek. “Don't make me regret this, Barnes. I'd hate to have to remove your other arm from your body.” Natasha disappeared into the stairwell before the elevator opened again. 

Beth walked over to him and tapped the handlebars on the motorcycle. She eyed the machine with interest.

“Are we going to ride on this?” He nodded and handed her a worn leather jacket. It was far too big, but it would keep her warm. 

“I thought you might like it, and it's my favorite way to get around.” 

“Where's my helmet?” They grinned at each other and hopped on. 

…

It was like flying. It took a little while to get out of the city, but once they did and Bucky got up to speed she loved it. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. The roar of the engine, the wind whipping by, and the feeling of being wrapped around Bucky… She was giddy from it all. When they took a wide, sweeping turn she laughed out loud. The further they went, the darker it got and the more intimate it felt. 

He never took his eyes off of the road, though he ached to see her delicate hands around his middle. He couldn't hear much but he thought he heard her laugh when they went around a bend and it made him happier than he could ever remember being. They went over a small hill and her fingers clutched at his shirt. For a split second he thought she was scared but he just caught the musical sound of her laughter again. 

He lost track of how long they drove, but when he spotted a quiet rest area he knew they had gone far enough. An old pair of restrooms that had seen better days sat at the edge of the tiny parking lot. A little grassy area with some saggy wooden picnic tables was the only other amenity. He nudged the kick stand down and swung his leg around to stand and stretch. She pulled off her borrowed helmet and he knew he was done for. Beth sitting there in his jacket, her hair wind blown, and her eyes sparkling with joy was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

“That was so much fun!” She got off the bike and stumbled. He caught her and she giggled. “Oof! I guess I'm a little stiff.” 

“Yeah, sorry. I didn't mean to come this far.” He looked up at the sky. “But it was worth the view.” She followed his gaze and sighed happily. 

“The ride was worth it, but it's really pretty.” _I could just lean down and…_ He shook his head and cleared his throat. 

“I brought a blanket. I mean, we could sit at one of the tables but they look a little iffy.” He unbuckled the bag and pulled out a thick wool blanket. She hooked her arm with his and they walked over to the grass. They spread the blanket out and Beth laid down to look at the stars. When Bucky didn't follow her she propped herself up on her elbows and patted the ground next to her. 

“Get down here!” He lowered himself down to the ground and laid back. She reached over and took his hand. “Thank you.” She told him. He tilted his face towards her and watched her watch the sky. 

“I had a feeling you needed to get out for a little while.” She looked over at him and smiled a little sadly. 

“Yeah… Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy at the tower. It's just, everything that happened this morning… I can't explain it.” She scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. “Can I tell you something?” 

“Of course.” 

“Sometimes I wish I could just die like a normal person. I don't want any of these abilities, I didn't ask for them.” 

“I can understand that. Sometimes I wish I had died when I fell off that train.” 

“They turned it into a curse. They made life so miserable that I prayed for death. I imagine there's a lot of people that think it's a miracle but they don't get it. I _can die_. I feel my organs shut down and my heart stop beating. If I was lucky, it was quick. And then coming back? It's not just like waking up in the morning. It hurts.” 

“I don't remember a lot of what they did to me,” Bucky admitted. “I remember pain. I think I remember when I got the arm… Mostly I just remember being cold. Just, cold, right down to my bones. They turned me into some kind of nonperson. There was nothing left, and for a long time I didn't think I'd ever be anything again.” Beth snuggled even closer, wrapping her arm around his waist. He ran his fingers up and down her back. 

“What's your actual name?” She asked after several minutes. “I just realized I don't know, and it can't be Bucky.”

“Why not?” He tugged her hair gently. 

“Who names their kid 'Bucky'? It's obviously a nickname.” She poked his stomach. 

“James Buchanan Barnes.” She pushed herself up so she could see his face.

“It fits you.”

“Does it?” 

“It's a good strong name. James.” The way she said his name made him shiver. 

“Elizabeth is nice too.” 

“Bucky?” 

“Hmm?” His heart stopped when her hand cupped his cheek. Time stopped when her lips touched his. “Beth?” His heart hammered in his chest and all he wanted to do was kiss her again. 

“Is that okay?” He nodded and sat up, pulling her onto his lap. She rubbed her thumb over his bottom lip and he groaned low in this throat. She pecked little kisses all over his face and then their lips met again. Instinct had his tongue licking against the seam of her mouth, and he pulled back, not wanting to overwhelm her. She nipped his lip in response and he chuckled. Lips connected again and she granted him access to her mouth. He pushed the jacket down her arms. Her hands gripped his hair and his went around her back and under her shirt. When he found only smooth skin he moaned and rested his forehead against hers. 

Tentatively, she kissed and nibbled at his neck. Her lips found the particularly sensitive spot behind his ear and he shuddered. 

“ _Beth_ ,” he breathed. “I think we should calm down.” His body was on fire for her, every part of him wanted her. 

“I know,” She murmured. “I need you.” She writhed against him, felt his desire, and it made her feel powerful. She felt like she had never been so alive. 

It was nearly physically painful but he pulled away from her. 

“Stop,” he gasped. “I want you to be sure. You're all churned up from what happened this morning.” His head dropped to her shoulder. “I want you so much it hurts, but I'd hate myself if let this continue.” 

“It's okay,” She stroked his back. “I know you're right.” She shifted and sat next to him. “I'm sorry I put you in that position.” 

“Don't apologize, I've wanted to do that for weeks.” Needing to cool down, but also needing her to touch him again, he laid back down and rested his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair, scratching her nails over his scalp. Until his heart stopped racing he was content to lay under the stars with her. 

…

The sun was just beginning to rise when they pulled into the garage. Beth yawned when she handed him her helmet. Seeing her sway on her feet he scooped her into his arms and she giggled. 

“My hero!” She drawled and tucked her head into the crook of his neck. 

“My pleasure, ma'am.” Bucky hoped their luck would hold out and they wouldn't run into anyone on the way to drop her off at her bedroom. He carried her right into her room and set her down on her bed, she seemed to have fallen asleep. He pulled off her boots and covered her with the blanket. He turned to leave her and sneak to his own room when her hand reached out and grabbed his arm. 

“Stay with me?” He couldn't have refused if his life had depended on it. Shedding his shirt and jeans he crawled under the blankets with her and she curled against him with a happy sigh. “Thank you...” she mumbled and drifted off. Bucky stared at the ceiling for a long while, listening to her deep even breathing while she slept. 

“I think I might love you, and I hope it doesn't make things worse for you.” He whispered and joined her in sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE A LOT OF BUCKY FEELS, OKAY?!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of sexual assault/rape, but no graphic descriptions or actual assault.

It was only about an hour and a half later when low angry voices woke Bucky from his happy little dreamland. Beth was still asleep, her head resting against his chest, her arm thrown over his stomach, and her legs tangled with his. If he moved, she would wake up. He concentrated on the voices trying to figure out how many people were arguing beyond the door. He definitely heard Natasha, and maybe Wanda, they seemed to be debating with Tony. Then he heard Steve say something, and it sounded like he was siding with the women. He didn't even flinch when the door opened and Tony stalked in looking very annoyed, Steve looked apologetic. Beth snuggled closer and made a small sound at the disturbance. He put a metal finger to his lips and Tony scowled at him. 

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?” He hissed. 

“Trying to sleep? Do you mind?” He whispered back, glancing down at Beth. Natasha tried to pull him out while Wanda watched from the hallway with an anxious expression. 

“Where did you go? We all know you took her somewhere last night, and you didn't get back until sunrise! What the fuck did you do?” Tony was quickly losing control over his volume and Bucky was losing his patience. 

“Would you shut up?” He groaned when Beth's eyes blinked open. The sleepy smile faded off her face when she noticed how tense he was. She sat up and frowned at the group of people in the room. 

“What's going on?” She asked with a barely stifled yawn. Natasha dropped her arms in defeat and glared at Tony. 

“This idiot seems to think your virtue has been compromised.” 

“My what?” Her brain caught up with the conversation. “Are you kidding me?” She threw the blankets back and Bucky cringed. Wearing only his boxers didn't make anything look better. She got out of bed and stood in front of Tony, hands on her hips, obviously ready for a confrontation. “Is there something you want to talk about?” Her voice went soft and dangerous. 

“I'd like to talk to him.” Tony's eyes flashed at Bucky, who was also out of bed and pulling on his jeans. 

“You're talking to me right now.” 

“Look, kid-”

“Actually I'm a woman in her mid 20s, but please, do go on.” 

“Your age is irrelevant!”

“So is your opinion!” Natasha snorted. 

“You don't know what you're doing!” Tony shouted. “You've been locked up since you were twelve! How are you possibly prepared to get yourself tangled up with someone like him?” 

“Excuse me?” Bucky hit his limit. Steve moved to put himself between the two men. 

“Oh yeah, I was locked up.” Beth visibly trembled. “And I learned plenty. I was stripped, fondled, tortured, beaten, and _murdered_. Do you think I can't tell what a man is thinking when he looks at me? You're lucky I do, or I'd walk right out of this tower and never look back. You're worried about my 'virtue', Tony? Bucky is the only man that's ever touched me with my permission. I'm the one that started it. He's the one that stopped it, because I was upset and he knew it was a bad idea. So thanks for turning nice, private moment between two consenting adults into something dirty.” 

“Beth, I-” Tony sputtered.

“Get the fuck out of my room,” she growled. “You stay away from me, I'll let you know when I don't want to slap the beard off your face anymore.” Steve cleared his throat and left, pulling Tony out with him. Wanda left behind them, at a loss for words. Natasha watched them leave before turning back to Bucky and Beth. 

“I'm sorry,” she scrubbed her hands over her face. “I tried to calm him down, but he wouldn't listen to me. If it makes you feel any better, he really let me have it.” 

“It doesn't.” Beth snapped. “No, sorry, Nat.” She sat back down on the edge of the mattress and her face fell into her hands. “I'm sorry you got caught up in this.” 

“Hey, I chose to get caught in it.” She went and sat next to her, throwing her arm over Beth's stiff shoulders. “Tony's just scared, and when he gets scared it makes him really, really mad. I think we all know Bucky is more than capable of keeping you safe, and it isn't fair to keep you here like some kind of fairy princess… He means well, but his execution is incredibly awful.” 

“I know he means well, Nat, but he owes Bucky one giant apology.” 

“I'd say he owes you one too,” He said and sat down on her other side. Natasha stood up. 

“I'll give you guys some privacy. Oh, and Beth?” She looked up. “Let him sweat for a little bit. He deserves to squirm.” She left, shutting the door behind her. Beth leaned against Bucky, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She listened to his heartbeat while he stroked her hair. 

“I can practically hear your thoughts.” She said quietly. 

“Yeah?” 

“You can ask.” He squeezed his eyes shut. He had to, but he was terrified what her answer would be. 

“Did they...” His voice broke. “Did they…Rape you?” She didn't answer right away. She cupped her hand around his cheek and pulled his face towards her. 

“No.” He let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. “They threatened me. They exposed themselves in front of me. The grabbed whatever parts they liked, whenever they wanted, but they never… I was less than human in their eyes. I was a subject.” She wiped a tear from his cheek with her thumb. “Please don't. I'm not afraid of you, and I couldn't stand it if you stopped touching me now.” Her fingers flowed over the scarring on his shoulder, where the metal met his flesh. “Just because I've never felt these things, it doesn't make it less real. I'm damaged but I'm not broken.” She pulled his face closer and kissed him softly. “They made me believe I was broken, but you fill in the cracks. Don't you dare let them win.” He crashed his lips against hers and she made a delighted sound. He laid back on the bed and she followed, never breaking the kiss. Bucky gently ran his hand over her body, as if his touch could erase the past. When they pulled apart he rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip and she smiled.

“Every time I tell myself I should stay away from you, you look at me with those eyes and I'm lost all over again.” 

“What else would I look at you with?” 

“Smart ass.” 

“Jerk.” They grinned at each other. “Can we go back to sleep, now?” 

“Oh yeah.” He kicked off his jeans again. She pulled the blanket back over them and nestled back at his side. 

… 

Several hours later he left so she could shower and he could find some food. Following his nose, he found Steve watching an old movie with several partial pizzas spread out over the coffee table. His friend smiled and waved him over. 

“The Twins wanted pizza and they can never agree on toppings. Natasha just took some to the lab for Bruce, and she won't admit it, but probably Tony as well.” Bucky picked up a lukewarm piece with pepperoni and sausage. “I tried to get him to wait until you woke up, so he would calm down.” 

“Waiting is not one of Tony's strong points.” 

“It depends on the situation.” Bucky grunted in reply and shoved pizza in his mouth. “You seem really… Happy lately.” 

“Please tell me that was not a thinly veiled innuendo.” Steve chuckled and shook his head. 

“Not at all. I don't think I've seen you this calm in a long time, and even if it was from um, 'innuendo' I don't think I could really find issue with that.” Bucky's eyebrows went up in surprise.

“Really?”

“I've known you for my whole life, Buck. Back before the war you were a bit of a ladies man, sure, but you never took advantage. And now? You aren't the same person but you're still decent.”

“Sometimes I wish I could see the good you see. I just know I would cut off my other arm before I'd hurt her.”

“You don't give yourself enough credit. You and her help each other, some of that comes from some similarities in your pasts, some of it's just plain chemistry. But she wouldn't give you the time of day if she didn't see a good guy.” Bucky let Steve's words roll around his head for a few minutes. He desperately wanted to believe it. He had come a long way with his self image, but it was still difficult for him to accept that anyone could overlook his years as a brainwashed assassin. 

“She makes me want to be better.” Steve's face softened. 

“You are better, pal. She's helping you realize it, but you've been doing it all on your own.” 

“I hope you're right...” They both looked up when Beth wandered in. Bucky thought she looked fresh and effortlessly lovely, like she always did to him. 

“Food?” She asked hopefully. Steve laughed.

“Yeah, help yourself.” Her eyes darted between the two of them.

“Did I interrupt something? I could come back.” Bucky smiled and pulled her down next to him on the sofa. 

“You can stay right here.” She grabbed a slice and bite into it happily. 

“I think _The Wizard of Oz_ is coming on next,” Steve told them. “Do you want to stay and watch?” Beth nodded and curled up against Bucky. 

“It's one of my favorites. I'll try not to sing along.” Bucky kissed the top of her head. 

“You go ahead and sing along, Doll.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a little harder to write, but I hope you all like it!


	11. Chapter 11

They continued to share a bed. Now that they both knew how good it felt to fall asleep wrapped around each other, they couldn't bring themselves to stop. Bucky made sure any shared touches were kept strictly above the waist, partly because they were still in her room on Natasha's private floor, but mostly because he was terrified of hurting her. His skin seemed to tingle constantly with want. He couldn't remember ever being so _aware_ of his entire body. 

Then there was Tony, conspicuous only by his absence. He had taken Beth's order to stay way very literally. Bucky could tell she was softening, the confrontation had bruised her feelings but hadn't dulled her affection for the man. He wouldn't stop her when she decided she was ready to talk to him. He didn't expect any kind of apology on his behalf, so it didn't make any difference to him one way or another. 

…

Beth gave herself about a week. She still hadn't spoken to Bruce since his Hulk-out and since Tony and he would both be in the labs it made sense to clear the air with both of them. Pietro had gone out and gotten her some more of the blueberry muffins that had never gotten to their destination, so with box of pastries in hand she asked FRIDAY to take her to the lab. Bruce was bent over some papers, furiously writing notes when she stepped inside. His eyes flicked up when he heard her and her heart sank when he frowned. 

“I'm kind of busy this morning, Beth.” He told her. 

“Oh, I um… Brought you and Tony some breakfast?” She lifted the box. “Is he here?” Bruce waved his hand in a vague gesture behind him to signify that the other man was most likely tinkering elsewhere. He turned his attention back to his notes and she almost lost her nerve. Determined to put an end to the tension she walked over and set a muffin next to his hand. He nodded, but didn't give any more of a response. She reached out and touched his wrist and he finally put his pen down and turned to her. Swallowing hard, Beth stepped closer and put her arms around him. He gasped in surprise, and she wondered if he was about to shove her away. Instead, she felt him return the embrace and heard him sigh. 

“I'm sorry you had to see that.” He said quietly. 

“I've seen worse.” He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back gently.

“If that ever happens again, you stay away,” His voice turned serious. “I don't want you any where near The Other Guy! You're lucky he didn't...” He trailed off. 

“I'm pretty durable, doc.” She leaned in for another hug. “I couldn't stand seeing you like that, and not in the way you think! I could see and feel your pain! I still don't know what I did or how I did it, but I knew I had to help. Somehow I knew I _could_ help.” She pulled away. “I know that doesn't make much sense-”

“It does and it doesn't. You don't tell your body to heal itself, it just does it. Something inside you, maybe in your brain, just triggers that response. Maybe how we all know how to breathe on our own. I would hypothesize that this ability to heal others was triggered by your emotional state in the moment. Like a surge of adrenaline...” His eyes went a little out of focus and he reached for a notebook and jotted down a few lines. “There's probably a way to teach you how to control it, not only when you use it, but also in a way that doesn't leave you drained and vulnerable.” He muttered something under his breath and wrote some more. “Can I draw some blood?” He winced. “No, sorry, I promised you I wouldn't ask anymore.” 

“I don't mind. Um, just a little bit of blood, right?” 

“Of course, but please don't just do this on my account. I don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with.” 

“I think if I help you, I'm also helping myself,” she said slowly. “How will I know anything about myself if I don't let you do research? But please, don't keep anything from me. If I let you run your tests, you need to keep me involved. If I ever feel like you aren't, I'm going to put a stop to it.” 

“You have my word, I will share any and all information with you.” 

“Okay, Dr. Banner, take my blood.” 

…

He was so gentle and quick that she didn't feel anything. Even with her accelerated healing he insisted that she drink a bottle of water and eat one of the muffins. 

“Thank you, Beth. I have a feeling this will keep me occupied for a while, but if it's alright with you I'd like to do a CT scan of your brain in the future. No rush, but please think about it.” 

“I will.” She hopped down from the stool she was sitting on. “Now I should really go find Tony. He is here somewhere, right?” 

“Yes, I think he's hiding in his work shop. Between you and me, he's been slinking around like a scolded puppy.” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “I'm not going to tell you to go easy on him, but I think he does really feel bad.” 

“I didn't come here to yell at him.” She assured him. She surprised Bruce again by pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Don't let that muffin be the only thing you eat today.” 

She made her way back towards Tony's shop, following the sounds of machinery. The thick walls and door muffled most of the noise, but she could hear a metallic grind and the hard pulse of classic rock. Deciding it would be useless to try and knock she just pushed the door open and cautiously slipped in. Afraid she would startle him if she tried to get his attention while he was intently working on what appeared to be a large metal hand she waited patiently for him to stop for a break. There was a stool at one of the work tables so she sat and watched him.

A couple of songs played before he put down his tools and wiped the sweat from his forehead. When he turned to find his water he noticed her. She opened the box she was holding, silently offering a pastry. He dragged a stool over to sit.

“Hey, kid.” 

“Hey.” She handed him a muffin. “Eat.” 

“Thanks.” He accepted it and peeled the paper lining away to take a bite. “So...” She kept her expression neutral and he groaned. “Not gonna give me any leeway, huh?” 

“I took the first step.” She reminded him.

“You told me to stay away from you!” Beth narrowed her eyes. “Okay, you had a good reason. I was out of line with that stuff about you and Barnes.” He shoved more muffin into his mouth before he continued. “Are you going to make me actually say the S-word?” She shrugged.

“I guess not.” He groaned again, louder, and dragged it out dramatically. 

“Okay! I'm sorry I butted in when it was none of my business, happy?” She smirked. 

“Very.” 

“You're lucky you're so small and cute.” He threw his arm around his shoulder and kissed the top of her head. “Just, please don't go off like that again. I don't want you to feel like you traded one cage for another, but until we know exactly who's looking for you, it's just really stupid. Safety in numbers and all that.” 

“I can understand that…” She looked like she wanted to say more.

“Oh hell, what?” 

“I don't like what you said about Bucky. He won't say so, but it hurt his feelings.” Tony barked out a laugh before he could stop himself. “It's not funny!”

“I can see how you wouldn't think so, but fine.” He stood up and held out his hand. When she looked at him in confusion he just grabbed hers. “Let's go find Mr. _Hurt Feelings_ , I have something to show the both of you that might make him feel better.” 

“Tony...” She said warningly. 

“I'm serious! Scout's honor.” 

“Somehow I doubt you were ever a boy scout.” He laughed again.

“I do really like you.” 

…

They found Bucky eating cold Chinese noodles in the kitchen. He was suspicious, but took Beth's hand so they could follow Tony. When the got onto the elevator, Tony hit a floor number instead of asking for FRIDAY's assistance. The doors opened and he waved them out. 

“This is yours, if you want it.” He told them. Beth wandered around the cozy little living space. The furniture was oversized and looked incredibly comfortable. At the far end was a kitchenette, perfect for simple necessities. Off to the right was a suite very much like the one she was currently in. A nice sized bedroom with a luxurious bathroom attached, and the added bonus of a small balcony to enjoy the city views. 

“This is… Wow. Tony, you didn't have to do this.” Beth said after she had looked it all over. 

“It was already here, it just needed some furniture.” He shrugged. “It's close to the library, too.” She was overwhelmed, it seemed like it had been a lifetime since she had a space that felt like it was actually hers. 

“Thank you.” She told him, and hugged him tight so he wouldn't see her watering eyes. 

“It's really no big deal, kid. I figured you and Frosty wouldn't mind some privacy.” He caught Bucky's eye over Beth's shoulders and they shared a nod of understanding. “I'm guessing you like it, so we'll get your stuff moved in.” She pulled away and smiled at him. 

“Thank you,” she said again. “It's really nice.” 

“Okay. You're welcome. I'll just, uh, leave you to it.” He winced at his choice of words and left before he said anymore. 

Beth jumped onto the sofa and giggled when she sunk into the plush cushions. Bucky smiled, her enthusiasm made him incredibly happy. 

“Come here, you.” She reached towards him and he joined her. Knowing there were no ears around to eavesdrop had his heart hammering in his chest. She straddled his lap and heat bloomed in his stomach. “I like being here with you. It feels nice.” His hands went around to her back. He loved how she never flinched away from his metal hand. She ran her fingers through his hair and he relaxed into her touch. No one had ever excited him and calmed him the way she did. He stroked down her back and she shivered and rocked her hips. Bucky groaned, his head falling back. He had been on edge for days. 

“You don't know what you do to me, Doll.” She planted kisses all over his neck, nipping at the sensitive spots she had already discovered. He knew she could feel his arousal at this point, it was becoming more obvious by the second. “Beth, please...” He tried to ask her to stop, but he couldn't help it when he bucked against her. He was lost in her warmth and the pleasure of having her in his arms. 

“ _James_.” She breathed in his ear, trembling with desire. She didn't quite understand what she wanted, but she ached deep in her core. He was painfully close, feeling like an over-excited teenager. He sought out her lips and moaned against her mouth when his phone went off in his pocket, startling them both out of the moment. He pulled it out and scowled at Steve's name on the caller ID. 

“This better be good, Punk.” He growled. Beth was nearly panting, and looking deliciously flushed. 

“It is,” his friend replied. “Last minute mission; you, me, and Nat. Briefing in fifteen, we leave within the hour.” 

“You have got to be fucking kidding.” 

“'Fraid not. Don't be late.” Steve hung up and Bucky fought the urge to crush the phone in his hand. “I was really looking forward to sleeping in that bed with you tonight, Doll.” 

“How long will you be gone?” He rested his forehead against her chest and breathed in her scent. 

“No idea. I promise I'll come back as soon as I can.” 

“Be careful?”

“Always.” He cupped her cheek. “Go to Wanda if you need anything, okay? Or the Doc. Don't let Pietro flirt with you too much.” She managed a shaky smile. 

“No promises.” She kissed him one more time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS STEVE.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pep talk, some girl talk, and dealing with some feelings...

Beth missed him. She tried to keep herself busy, spending time with Wanda or reading more books. The problem with books was that it was too easy for her mind to wander. And it always led to worry. After the first week the library stopped feeling like her safe little bubble so she turned to the gym.

She wrapped her hands and wrists like Bucky had showed her and pushed herself until she was exhausted. Her knuckles split, bled, and healed over and over again. Bruce came in one day after Wanda had gone to him with concerns. He stood quietly and watched her take out her frustrations on the training dummy. He could see where Bucky's fighting style had rubbed off on her, she moved like she had a singular purpose. When she stopped to catch her breath he cleared his throat to get her attention. 

“What's up, Doc?” 

“Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor.” She mopped the sweat off her face and gulped down a bottle of water. “Have you eaten since this morning?” She shrugged and tossed the towel in the hamper. “Okay, you go shower and meet me in the kitchen.” 

“Maybe I'm not done here.” 

“Beth, please.” She huffed in annoyance. 

“Fine.” She stalked off. He shook his head and laughed to himself, feeling like a father watching his stubborn daughter stomp off to her room. 

…

Bruce offered a smile when she walked into the kitchen. Beth sniffed the air and tilted her head. He had an assortment of fresh vegetables out on the counter and strips of meat cooking on the stove. 

“I didn't know you cooked.” 

“Takeout gets old after a while, and you can only eat so much cold cereal. Pork stir-fry sound good to you?” She took a seat at the breakfast bar and rested her head on her hands. 

“It smells good.” Beth sat and watched the doctor while he prepared the meal. When the food was ready she helped him set out plates and silver wear at the table. She let him spoon a generous helping on her plate. She took a bite making sure to get all the veggies on her fork to get the full flavor. “'S good.” She told him. 

“Great.” They ate in silence for a few moments. He looked her over while she was focused on her dinner. There were dark smudges under her eyes that told him she wasn't sleeping. Bruce suspected that without her healing abilities she'd have been down for the count. If Beth was going to continue being a part of their dysfunctional little family he was going to need to help her with her coping mechanisms. Bucky and Natasha would need to leave on missions, sometimes at the same time. “Cooking is a nice way to occupy the mind, and kill some time.” He said offhandedly. 

“Hmm?” She looked up at him. He could tell she was exhausted.

“I was saying how cooking can be a good hobby.” She jerked a shoulder and took another bite of stir-fry. 

“I guess.” 

“Maybe with your sweet tooth baking might be more to your liking.” A small, wistful smile appeared. 

“My Mom let me help her when she made cookies.” 

“Oh? What were your favorites?” 

“Oatmeal. I always argued with her to leave the raisins out. We'd end up putting them in half.” 

“I've always been partial to chocolate chip, myself.” 

“Is that your way of asking me to bake cookies?” 

“No. Just making conversation,” He wiped his mouth with his napkin. “My grandmother was fond of knitting.” 

“What?” 

“Just another hobby people enjoy.” She set her fork down.

“Alright. I feel like there's something you're trying to say but you keep beating around the bush. Just spit it out already.”

“I was thinking maybe you'd like to explore some more interests. Outside of your books and running yourself ragged in the gym. I think it would help pass the time when Bucky and Natasha aren't here.” She lowered her eyes. 

“I know it's pathetic.” He reached over and squeezed her shoulder. 

“Beth, you went through things no person should ever have to experience. You were kidnapped and locked away for nearly two decades. No one expects you to adjust to real life immediately, it's just not realistic. You've become very close with Natasha and Bucky while you've been here and it's only natural that you miss them while they're gone. I think it would really help your recovery to find some more activities that you enjoy.”

“I did really like baking.” She murmured. 

“So maybe you give that a try. I happen to know that Wanda enjoys baking as well, you could get to know each other better while you bond over a shared interest.” Beth looked thoughtful and nodded. 

“That could be fun.” She said with a smile. “Thanks for the dinner, Bruce. And the pep talk.” 

“I do what I can.”   
…

She decided to approach Wanda the next day. After asking FRIDAY where she was in the tower Beth headed to The Twin's floor and Wanda's bedroom. 

“Hey Wanda.” She greeted after knocking on her door frame. 

“Hello, Beth. How are you doing today?” 

“I'm okay, you?”

“I am well.” Beth was fidgeting nervously. “Did you need me for something?” 

“Bruce suggested I try out some hobbies. I was wondering if you wanted to bake something together?” Wanda grinned at her.

“Yes! I would love to!” 

The two women took stock of the available ingredients. Upon finding a bag of chocolate chips she told Wanda she wanted to make chocolate chip cookies for Bruce. While they were measuring out flour and sugar Beth wondered what kind of cookies Bucky liked. She frowned at herself. This was about her and Wanda right now. When he returned with Natasha and Steve she could ask him. Wanda, however, decided she wanted to inject a little girl talk into their afternoon. 

“You and Barnes are quite close.” She mentioned with a wink. Beth's face flushed pink. 

“Yes, I miss him.” Wanda nodded. 

“It has been nearly two weeks since they left. I would not worry so much, it is not likely it involves HYDRA.” 

“Bucky told me they try to keep him away from those missions. It's just hard not knowing where they are or how long they'll be gone.” 

“I understand. I do not like it when Piet has to leave without me.” She paused. “He is my brother so I know this is different.” Beth remembered Wanda's comment from their shopping trip. 

“What about Vision?” It was Wanda's turn to blush. 

“I am very fond of him.” She replied and handed Beth a spoon so they could begin scooping dough onto a tray. 

“Wanda?” 

“Hmm?” Beth leaned in after looking around to make sure they were alone in the kitchen. 

“I really want to have sex with Bucky.” Wanda stared at her for a full fifteen seconds before bursting into laughter. “Hey!” 

“I do not mean that the idea is funny! Just that you are very… Honest. People are not usually so blunt with these things. And it is pretty obvious that you want to.” 

“Well, shit.”

“I am a woman, I can see these things.” 

“So I haven't been walking around here like a cat in heat, then?” Wanda laughed again.

“Not at all. But,” she grinned. “Any one with eyes can see the sparks are flying.” Beth shoved a spoonful of dough into her mouth in frustration. “Maybe when he gets back you can give him a proper welcome home?” The idea made Beth feel warm and tingly. Bucky wasn't the only one on the edge. 

“I have no idea what I'm doing. Kissing isn't difficult. I love kissing him...” She turned to put the trays into the oven, taking the moment to collect her thoughts, and set a timer. “I'm afraid I'm going to… Do it wrong.” 

“I do not think he would find fault in anything you do.” 

“I get so overwhelmed,” she said quietly. “I spent sixteen years feeling nothing. When I'm with him I feel everything.” Wanda took her hands. 

“Some people click together. Do not worry so much, let things happen.” 

“I over think a lot.” She admitted. “I was alone for a long time and I was stuck with nothing but my own mind for company. It's a hard habit to break.” 

“You are still learning to adjust to freedom.” 

“That's a good way to put it.” The timer went off and Beth checked their cookies. “They look pretty good, I guess we make a good team.” 

…

They brought a plate of warm cookies to the lab. Bruce was pleasantly surprised, and happy to see the women spending the day together. On a whim Beth asked if he had a spare notebook, and he gave her one.

Back in her rooms she sat down and stared at the blank pages for a long time. She wasn't sure what she wanted to write down, just that there were a lot on her mind that she needed to get out. She hadn't kept any sort of a diary before HYDRA. Whenever she needed to talk her mother had always been there. She closed her eyes and pulled up an image of her. Beth remembered how everyone commented on how much she had looked like her mother. Except for her eyes, she had only fuzzy memories of her father but they told her she had his eyes. 

She didn't like to think about her mother that much, it hurt. She hadn't been given time to mourn her before she was taken to hell. Sometimes she wished that she could have known that that day was their last together, that it would be the last time she would hug and kiss her goodnight. The grief formed a heavy ball in her stomach. Maybe baking the cookies had brought those feelings to the surface, or maybe she was just ready to begin to deal with it. The paper in front of her came back into focus and she picked up her pen. Taking a deep breath, she began to write.

_Dear Mom…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to dig a little deeper in what makes Beth tick. It wasn't the easiest chapter to write but I'm happy with how it turned out. I hope you all enjoyed :3


	13. Chapter 13

Once Beth started she couldn't stop. She filled pages with her quick, neat handwriting. With every word she put to paper she felt lighter. 

_Remember we went to that little fair and we ate so much cotton candy we nearly made ourselves sick? And we rode that huge horse?_

_I miss you so much, Mama. Sometimes I'm afraid that I've forgotten what your voice sounded like, or how you always smelled like lavender and vanilla._

_He makes me so happy, and I wish you were here so you could meet him._

_I'm not afraid of spiders anymore. I don't think I'm afraid of anything anymore. I used to think that losing you was the worst thing that ever happened but they proved me wrong._

She went back to Bruce five more times for notebooks. He reminded her to take breaks, but he could see that she needed to do this. When she could no longer keep her eyes open and her hands cramped she would finally drop her pen, take a blisteringly hot shower, and crawl under the blankets to sleep like the dead. 

When she finally reached the end of the last sentence, she shut the full book and let herself cry. Sobs wracked her small frame while she hugged the books to her chest. There had been no tears in the past few days but now that she had finished her task they felt cleansing. After she had cried herself empty and laid quietly for several minutes she heard a soft knock on the door. Wanda came in and gathered her up in a hug. 

“I did not mean to hear, but your emotions were very loud.” 

“It's okay. Thank you for coming.” Wanda helped her mop up her face and pressed some cool cloths against her swollen eyes. They went to the kitchen and ate some soup together and then Wanda insisted that she get some sleep. 

“You have been working for days. Bucky will come home and wonder why we did not take care of you.” She said with a voice full of humor. Beth confirmed how tired she was with a huge yawn. 

“I'm not going to argue.” She hugged Wanda again. “Goodnight.” 

“Dobroy nochi.”

… 

Instead of her usual shower she filled the giant tub and poured in some of the fancy bath oil stocked in the bathroom. The warm, scented water lulled her into a state of total relaxation. Before she risked falling asleep in the cooling water she got out and patted herself dry. Then she slipped into her softest pajamas and climbed into the bed. Her mind hadn't been so blissfully empty since her childhood. Though she wished she could feel his solid weight beside her, she drifted off in contented slumber. 

…

He was finally home. His body was stiff from the long flight home, and his head ached from exhaustion. The rooms were dark and quiet so he assumed Beth was in bed. Everything looked very much like it had that day he had to leave, but he noticed a pile of notebooks on the coffee table. A quick flip through them and he saw they were full. Bucky knew how writing things down could be incredibly therapeutic, and private, so he didn't read any of it. As quietly as he could manage he dropped his bag and gear by the sofa and pulled off his boots. 

Inside the bedroom he smiled at her sleeping form. Her breathing was deep and even and her arm reached out towards his side of the mattress. He stripped down to this boxers and neatly folded his clothes and set them on top of the dresser. Careful not to wake her, he pulled the comforter back and slid in next to her. His heart swelled with happiness when she instinctively cuddled up to his side in her sleep. He kissed the side of her face. 

“I missed you so much.” He whispered before falling asleep. 

Hours later when gray morning light filtered into the room Beth stirred. She felt a familiar form pressed against her back and a muscular arm around her middle. Some point in the night they had shifted and she was now the little spoon. Knowing that he had probably gotten back very late she resisted the urge to wake him and snuggled against his chest. She traced her fingers in random patterns up and down his arm and dozed lightly until she felt his lips move along her shoulder. 

“I didn't want to wake you.” She murmured. 

“I don't mind,” His arm tightened around her and he rolled onto his back so she was laying on top of him. “I ached for you every night, Doll.” 

“I'm so glad you're back.” Their lips met in a gentle kiss that grew into something more passionate. Bucky's hands moved down her back and gripped her butt making her giggle against his mouth. He moaned when Beth pulled away from the kiss and nibbled on his neck, she knew it drove him crazy. Her lips, teeth, and tongue set a fire inside of him that burned for her. Those delicate little hands took advantage of the bare skin underneath her and made his body tingle all over. Bucky nearly shouted when her fingers wrapped around his clothed arousal and he rolled quickly until he hovered over her. 

“Beth...” Her eyes were dark with desire, lips plump and red from their kisses, and her skin deliciously flushed. She ran her hands up his chest, over his shoulders, and around his neck and he dropped his forehead against hers. 

“I want you,” She whispered fiercely. “I want this.” He moved off of her and sat at the edge of the mattress. 

“I don't want to hurt you.” She crawled up behind him and kissed the back of his neck. 

“You won't hurt me.” His breath caught in his throat when her arms when around him and her hands stroked his abdomen. He felt himself twitch in his boxers with every touch. “ _James..._ ” She purred. “Please.” He turned to face her and she kept eye contact as she peeled her tank top over her head. She was bare underneath and the sight made him groan. Beth laid back and pushed the shorts down her legs. He couldn't stop himself from pulling the fabric all the way down and dropping it to the floor. She was now wearing only a pair of simple cotton panties. Bucky picked up one of her smooth legs and pressed a kiss to the inside of her ankle. Flesh and metal stroked over her pale skin and the sensation made her sigh. 

“You are so beautiful.” He told her before he leaned down to capture her lips in another kiss. He cupped her breasts and dipped his head down to lick over one of her nipples. Beth gasped and arched. “I've dreamed of you like this. Looking at me like you are now while I touch you,” his human hand slid down her body and pressed against her core. “Like this...” 

“James!” The pleasure made her head spin. 

“My name has never sounded so sweet...” He slipped a finger under the cotton and found her hot and wet. 

“Oh!” She grabbed his arms and dug her nails into his skin when he swirled his finger over her sweet spot. 

“I'm the first man to ever touch you like this,” Bucky said with awe in his voice. “I would walk through the fires of hell to be the only one.” 

“Only you,” She moaned. “I can't-” She broke off when his finger slipped inside and crooked at just the right angle.

“Yes you can. Let go for me, just feel.” She fell apart in his hands, panting and babbling. He added a finger and circled that bundle of nerves with his thumb, coaxing her body to it's release. 

“James! I'm-” She seized up and her walls clenched around his fingers as she came. He gathered her in his arms and held her though her climax. She shuddered and whimpered and he peppered her face and neck with kisses, murmured praise in her ear. Beth's eyes found his and she pulled his lips to hers. Distracted, he didn't feel her push her hand inside his boxers until it was wrapped around his straining erection. Her timid strokes felt like heaven. 

“I don't want to hurt you.” He said again, his voice shaking. 

“I want you,” she told him. “I need you.” Beth wiggled out of her panties and pressed her naked hips against his. When all he did was stare at her she pushed the last barrier down his legs and grabbed him again. He was hard as iron, desperate to be inside her. Still nearly terrified of how much he wanted this, he didn't make a move. 

“Are you sure?” He whispered. Beth nodded and guided him to her entrance. He could feel her wet heat and the remainder of his doubts crumbled. Always mindful of her comfort, he slowly pushed inside, giving her time to adjust to his size. Her eyes fluttered in bliss and she wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him impossibly closer. When he was fully sheathed he paused, worried that any movements would end the moment before it really began. 

“ _Move_.” She breathed, and he followed her order. He pulled back and thrust forward and she moaned his name like a prayer. “ _Yes..._ ” He was shaking with the effort it took to hold back, still afraid that he would harm her in any way. She caught his earlobe in her teeth and nibbled. “You can go faster, I won't break.” He whined, and shook his head. He heard a dark chuckle and then felt her teeth sink into his neck. That little bit of pain made him buck sharply and she gasped and scratched her nails down his back. “Oh, James. Just like that.” She began to move with him. 

“Shiiiit.” He groaned low in his throat. “You feel so _good_.” His hips snapped forward gradually faster and harder, she took everything he gave. “Oh, Doll… I'm so close.” Bucky pulled back and thrust in at a slightly different angle. Beth's eyes went wide and she let out a strangled shout. 

“Oh!” He made sure to repeat the motion and within moments she was on the edge with him. “Right there, don't stop!” She cried. She arched and came for the second time. Bucky swore he saw stars while she pulsed around him, and he followed her seconds later. 

He collapsed on top of her, gasping for air. He could hear her heart racing in her chest. Beth ran her fingers through his damp hair and made satisfied little sounds. Bucky slipped out of her and rolled over, so she could lay comfortably on his chest. They were both covered in a light sheen of sweat but neither one minded, content to hold each other in their afterglow. She stretched her neck up and kissed him gently, laying her hand against his cheek. When he opened his eyes and saw tears in hers, he felt a stirring of panic. 

“Are you okay?” She nodded and kissed him again.

“I love you, James.” He stared deep into her eyes, utterly speechless. His silence made a little lump form in her throat and she looked away. “You don't need to say it back, I know it's cliché to tell you right after we-” He interrupted her by sitting up and cupped her face in his hands. 

“Look at me.” She lifted her eyes to his. “I love you too. I just don't know if I deserve you.” She laid her hands over his. 

“I wish you could see yourself the way I do.” He thought he almost could. He could see himself reflected back in the endless depths of her eyes, could see the enormity of what he felt for her mirrored in her gaze. No one had ever made him want to prove himself like she did. Bucky knew he would spend the rest of his life trying to be the person worthy of her affection. 

Of course FRIDAYs voice had to ruin the moment. 

“Ms. Fox, Mr. Barnes; your presence has been requested in the main conference room.” Bucky let out a frustrated groan. 

“Can't it wait, FRIDAY?” Beth snapped in annoyance. 

“Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner have called a meeting for all residents.” 

“Fine,” Bucky grunted. “Ms. Fox and I need a shower first. Be there in twenty.” 

“I will relay your message.” The AI told them. 

“You do that.” He muttered. Beth giggled and kissed his forehead. 

“We should probably share the shower, for the sake of time.” She said. Bucky got out of bed and picked her up. She let out a squeal when he threw her over his shoulder and carried her into the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did the scene justice <3


	14. Chapter 14

Beth and Bucky walked in to the conference room to find every one already seated at a long table. The serious expressions they all wore made Beth shrink back against Bucky and he put his arm around her shoulders. 

“What the hell is this?” He demanded. Bruce stood up and held up his hands in a placating gesture.

“I think it's time that every body was on the same page,” He nodded at Beth. “Tony has some information about you. He found some pieces a few weeks ago, and now more has come to light. Unless you have any objections, which will not be taken lightly…” He shot Tony a pointed look and the other man rolled his eyes. “I believe it's for the best that every one know what has lead us here.” He sat back down began cleaning his glasses. “If you aren't comfortable with this, we will put it on the back burner until the time you feel you're ready.” Tony made an impatient noise. “No questions asked, end of discussion.” Bruce said. 

“Don't you think this is a little bit like an ambush?” Bucky asked. Beth laid her hand on his arm and he looked at her. 

“It's okay.” She told him. She sat down in one of the empty chairs. Bucky pulled another around so he could sit beside her. “Go ahead,” she told Bruce after they were all settled. “What did you find?” Bruce cleared his throat and opened the folder sitting in front of him. 

“We think we know why you have your abilities. There's no real easy way to put it-”

“HYDRA screwed with your genetics.” Tony blurted. Natasha punched him in the arm. “OW! Why do I keep sitting next to you?” 

“What? How?” 

“We have the evidence here,” Bruce pushed some documents towards her. “Your parents sought help with fertility issues. Your mother was having difficulty conceiving.” She saw her parents' names at the top of the page. “It looks like a faction of HYDRA were trying to find a way to amplify certain genes. Basically bypassing the need for, say, the serum Howard Stark used on Steve. Several couples, including your parents, were lead to believe they were getting help with their conception issues. In reality, the embryos were tampered with without their knowledge.” Beth looked up, her face white. 

“They are my parents though, right? I mean, every one told me all the time how much I looked like my Mom.” She reached out and grabbed Bucky's hand. 

“There's nothing in any of this information that suggests that you are not the Fox's biological child,” Bruce reassured her. “Unfortunately we don't know how they altered the embryos at this time. We'll have to keep digging. I would speculate, however, that they most likely concentrated on the immune system, based on your super accelerated healing, and things like strength and speed.”

“They wanted super soldiers they could raise from birth.” Bucky growled. 

“That was basically what we were thinking.” Tony said. “And they didn't care about the side effects.” 

“So are there other people like me?” Beth asked. Tony and Bruce shared a pained look. 

“Like I said, kid, they didn't care about the side effects. Several of the babies were born… Wrong.” Tony swallowed hard and looked down at the table. “Even if they lived past birth, their lives were short and painful.” Beth's eyes filled with tears. 

“Others showed absolutely no signs of any abnormalities or abilities.” Bruce said gently, trying to soften the blow. “As far as we know, there are no others like you.”

“Why me?” She croaked, furiously brushing at her eyes. 

“We don't know. Don't think they did, either.” Tony said. “All the surviving children were monitored until they could determine if their experimentation worked or not.” 

“They were watching me?” 

“From birth, I'm afraid.” Bruce pulled out another sheet of paper. “This next bit… Beth this is going to be hard to hear.” 

“Like the rest of it wasn't?” Bucky slammed a fist on the table. Beth stroked his arm and murmured to him. He felt ashamed that she felt that she needed to comfort him when it was her life being laid bare. He looked at her and muttered a soft apology. 

“What do you know about your father's death?” Bruce asked quietly, after Bucky seemed to have calmed back down. Beth shrugged.

“Not much, really. He died when I was three, Mom told me it was a car accident.” 

“That's partially true, but did she ever tell you that the two of you were in the car with him?” Beth held out a hand for the paper in Bruce's hand. She felt cold all over when she scanned the sheet. “You began to show signs very early. Developing faster than other babies, never sick… They wanted you. An agent was tasked with your abduction. He deliberately crashed into your parents' car.” Beth held up a hand to stop him. 

“I'm sorry I need a minute.” She stood up.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Bucky asked her. She shook her head.

“I need a minute to myself, but thank you.” She left the room. Bucky turned to the rest of them with a glare. 

“How long have you known all of this?” 

“I found the genetic testing shit weeks ago. The Captain thought it was best to sit on it for a while.” Tony said. Bucky shot to his feet.

“ _What?_ You knew all this?” He spat. 

“Look, Buck, we didn't have much more than that. What good would it have done to tell her at that point?” Steve asked, face grim. “She was still really fragile. To be honest, if I had had my way we still wouldn't be doing this right now.” 

“You had no right to keep any of it from her for this long.” 

“Whoa, first you get all pissed because we sit down to tell her, but now we were keeping things from her? You can't have it both ways!” Steve ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Bucky slumped back down in the chair. Beth walked back in and cringed at the tension. Bucky stood up again and took her hands. 

“Are you okay?” She nodded. Her eyes were red and puffy, but she was calm. They took their seats again. 

“So it wasn't an accident.” She prompted. 

“No. The car slammed into the drivers side.”

“That didn't kill him, though.” 

“Again, no. Your mother grabbed you and ran for help. The agent injured himself in the crash and couldn't go after the two of you so he...” 

“I've already read it. Just finish.” 

“He slit your father's throat and set the car on fire.” Wanda gasped. 

“Is there nothing they will not do?” She wondered aloud while Pietro muttered some nasty sounding Russian under his breath. 

“They covered it up. Any inquiries your mother made were brushed off.” Bruce said.

“She realized she was on her own,” Beth said. “No one was going to help her, and she realized that whoever murdered her husband was going to try again.” Something seemed to click in her mind. “We moved around a lot. She was trying to stay ahead of them.” 

“Your mother was a smart lady, and she obviously loved you very much.” Bruce told her. The hesitation in his tone made Beth narrow her eyes at him. 

“I'm a pretty smart lady, too, but an idiot could put two and two together. She didn't just die in a house fire.” Bruce shook his head sadly and passed her another report. This mission had been successful. 

“They started it.” Beth's voice was flat and cold. 

“If it's any consolation, they killed her first. They couldn't be sure that she wouldn't escape on her own.” Beth read the paper in her hands. The wording was clinical and straight forward. Nothing about the way absolute terror had coursed through her body. Nothing about how she had screamed for her mother, choking on smoke and burning the bottoms of her feet when she tried to find the woman that had been her entire world. Not a word about how a twelve year old girl watched her life burn down around her. 

“I know exactly how it feels to be burned alive. I'm glad they put a bullet in her head. It's the only merciful thing they've ever done.” Bucky couldn't find any words. He stared at Beth like he was seeing her for the first time. She was completely still, and deathly pale. He looked around at the others around the table but they were all speechless. 

“Beth...” He said quietly. She met his eyes and he flinched, he could have sworn they were black. He blinked and they were normal. 

“So they started fucking with me before I was even born. I wonder if I should feel special.” 

“Beth, I'm so sorry.” Bruce said miserably. 

“They couldn't figure me out though, could they? After all that trouble they had one little girl that could heal from whatever they did to her, that they couldn't kill no matter how many ways they tried, but they couldn't figure out why. I may not be super fast or strong, but at least I don't break, huh?”

“We do know something they don't. You can heal others.” Natasha reminded her. 

“Oh, yay. I still don't know how! Or if I can do it again!” Beth sat forward and covered her face with her hands. “Are we done for now?” She mumbled. 

“Yes,” Bruce said gently. “We are still trying to find the data they kept while you were imprisoned, but this is more or less all we have right now.” Bucky got up and pulled her into his arms. 

“Come on, Doll. Let's get out of here.” Beth just let him guide her out of the conference room. She said nothing on the short walk to their rooms. As soon as Bucky shut the door behind them and she saw she was back in their shared space, the strength went out of her and she went down to her knees. She let out a strangled sob. Bucky scooped her into his arms and sat down on the couch. She curled into his chest and wept. He stroked his hand up and down her back and kissed the top of her head. Rage burned in his chest on her behalf, but he knew he needed to ignore it for the time being. Beth was so hurt and his anger would not help her. 

“They took them from me. I think I always knew that deep down, but I just wanted to believe it was horrible luck. They never did anything wrong, all they wanted was a baby.” 

“They loved you.”

“I wasn't worth it.” 

“Don't you dare say that.” He said fiercely. 

“I cost them their lives.”

“They loved you,” He repeated. “HYDRA murdered them because they don't give a shit about the lives they ruin. You were your parents' miracle.” He lifted her chin so she would look at him. “They took advantage of good people. You are just as much a victim, and blame should never be placed on the victims.” 

“All those other families, those poor babies...” She started to cry again. 

He just held her and let her purge. When she ran out of tears and fell into a fitful sleep, he gently laid her down on the sofa and sprinted off to the main kitchen to get some food. Steve and Natasha were at the table but he made it clear he wasn't in the mood to talk. Equipped with a turkey sandwich, a box of Lucky charms, and a bag of chips he hurried back to their floor. 

They split the sandwich and she nibbled on the dry cereal. Bucky put an old movie on for noise, sensing she wasn't up to more conversation. When she tuned in for the night he went with her. Beth snuggled against him, every inch of her body making contact with his. Just before he drifted off to sleep he heard her voice.

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not claim to be a scientist, but hey, it's fiction.


	15. Chapter 15

Bucky reached out in his sleep and woke with a start when he didn't feel Beth in the bed next to him. He sat up and looked over at the bathroom, but it was dark and empty. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and got up. The door leading into the living space was left open just a crack and he could see a low, flickering light shining through from the other side. He opened the door the rest of the way and saw that the television was on with the volume turned down low, but she wasn't there. Bucky sighed. 

“Where's Beth, FRIDAY?” He asked, hoping she hadn't gone to the gym. She was emotionally drained and exhausted. 

“Ms. Fox is currently in the library. She appears to be asleep.” The AI told him. Bucky pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt before he made the short walk to the library. He found her curled up in her favorite chair, the copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ she had been reading had slipped out of her hands and was lying on the floor. He picked up the book and set it on the little side table next to her chair. Trying not to wake her, he carefully lifted her into his arms to take her back to their bed. Beth whimpered in her sleep, but she didn't wake up. 

Back in the bedroom he laid her down and covered her. Bucky fell in bed next to her, not bothering to strip back down to his boxers. 

…

A series of quick knocks woke him a few hours later. Beth was gone again and he groaned. How the hell did she keep slipping away without him knowing? Throwing himself out of bed, he staggered over to the door, blinking when there was no one on the other side. Another knock sounded and he realized they were out in the hallway. It was Natasha. 

“She's baking. I guess it's her new hobby, Bruce's suggestion.” 

“Um, okay. Why do you sound annoyed?” At least she wasn't throwing her tired body around the gym. 

“I'm not annoyed, I'm worried. She makes a damn good banana bread but she's nearly asleep on her feet.” Bucky rested his forehead against the door jam. 

“I found her in the library a few hours ago, brought her back to bed.” 

“I'm sorry I had to wake you, I can see that you didn't get much sleep either. But she won't talk to anyone. Doesn't even respond. Even when she first came here she'd shrug, or make some kind of a noise… This whole thing with Beth's parents, I'm really worried that it was too much for her to handle.” He waved off her apology. 

“Lets go.” 

… 

The kitchen smelled wonderful. Wanda was seated at the island, watching Beth with concern while she scrubbed dishes. Beth's dark hair fell forward, shielding her face. When Wanda saw Bucky she got up and walked over to him.

“I will not look into her mind without her consent,” she said fiercely in a low voice. “Do not ask.” 

“I wasn't going to.” Wanda sighed and pressed two fingers to her temple.

“Beth is a very loud broadcaster. I can feel much anxiety, but I can not tell you anything specific. There is too much going on, and she would not want me trying to find more.” 

“I understand, thank you for keeping an eye on her.” 

“She will not speak.” Bucky patted Wanda on the shoulder. He often avoided direct contact with her, uncomfortable with the idea that she may see things he didn't want anyone to see, but she had been a good friend. 

“Thank you. Why don't you give us some space.” The two women nodded and left. Bucky walked over and took the seat Wanda had vacated. Beth didn't acknowledge him, she just continued to wash dishes. He reached over to cut a piece of the banana bread Natasha had praised and took a healthy bite. “Damn, Doll. This is fantastic.” He didn't expect her to respond, but he felt he needed to try. “You know, I don't think I've ever seen anyone clean anything in this place. Somehow it's always spotless. I wonder if Stark has some kind of robotic cleaning crew.” Beth placed the last bowl aside to dry and wiped her hands on a dish towel. He wasn't sure what she would do next, but she just stood at the counter, staring at her hands resting on the marble. Bucky leaned over the counter towards her, and she still didn't look at him or move. “Beth,” he said quietly. “I'm going to tell you something Steve told me a lot when they first brought me here.” She lifted her chin but looked off to the side. “It's okay that you're not okay.” 

She walked over to the table and sat down with her back to him. It felt like a slap in the face, but the worst part was that he saw himself in the motion. How many times had he pulled away from everyone? How many times did he refuse to talk to Steve, his best friend, because it felt like there was nothing left to be said? How many times had the misery overwhelmed him so completely that he had made himself numb? 

_“You don't get to walk away from me this time!” Steve shouted. Bucky just ignored him and continued down the hall. The only warning he got was the sound of two heavy steps before Steve tackled him from behind. They hit the floor and the wind was nearly knocked out of him, but his training kicked in and instinct had him rolling over to throw the man off of him._

_“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Bucky growled. Steve jumped to his feet._

_“Get up.”_

_“Fuck off.”_

_“Get up before I pick you up myself.” Bucky swiped a leg out in an attempt to knock Steve back down but he dodged and reached down, grabbed Bucky's shirt and pulled him up. “You wanna keep acting like a punk? I'll treat you like a punk.” Steve's head barely snapped back when Bucky's fist connected with his cheek. “That all you got? I can do this all day.”_

_“Leave me alone.” Bucky shoved away from him._

_“No. I've been leaving you alone and it clearly isn't working. If you think you need to beat the hell out of someone, you'll beat on me. I'm done watching you beat on yourself.”_

Bucky came back to the present moment and looked over at Beth. He had needed someone to prove that they wouldn't walk away. He had no intention of punching the woman he loved in the face, but he had the spark of an idea. He grabbed the knife and walked over to the table. Beth was staring ahead, the sun shone through the windows and bathed her in golden light. Even pale and drawn with dark smudges under her eyes he found her stunning. Buck sat down next to her and turned the knife in his hands. 

“You and me have a little bit in common,” he began. “Our worst trait is how we like to try and push people away. Sometimes I still do that. I hurt a lot of people. I killed a lot of people. Yeah, logically I know that it wasn't _me_ , it was the zombie HYDRA turned me into, but I still struggle with it. All I can do is try and figure out how to live with it. You seem to make that feel a lot easier to do.” Her jaw clenched and a tear ran down her cheek. Bucky extended his normal arm in front of him and pressed the tip of the knife against his skin. Beth gasped as he cut a long stripe over his palm. She finally looked at his face and met his eyes, burning and intense. “Are you going to try and live with it?” 

Her fingers twitched and he saw her eyes fill with a silvery light for the second time. Blood so dark it was nearly black oozed out of the wound on his hand. He held his breath when she reached towards him, the light pooled in her palm. Hesitantly, she pressed her hand against his, lacing their fingers together. An intense warmth surged up his arm and she squeezed. He hissed from the sharp pain, but it lasted only a moment. Beth exhaled deeply and pulled her hand away. Blood was smeared on both of them, but the cut was gone. He watched her eyes slowly turn back to their normal color. She still looked exhausted, and the sadness was still there, but a steely determination had replaced the hopeless resignation. 

“Are you with me?” He asked. She nodded.

“I want to learn how to control this. I want you to teach me how to fight. I want justice.”

“Beth, you can't possibly expect me to let you go charging after HYDRA looking for revenge?” 

“I don't expect you to let me do anything, I'm not asking for your permission. But they are looking, they will find me, and they will do just about anything to get me back.” A chill went down his spine but he couldn't deny her statement. “If they take me I refuse to be helpless.”

“They won't touch you.” Bucky snarled. 

“We both know there's no way to guarantee that.” Her face softened and stroked the side of his face with her clean hand. “I trust you more than anyone, and I know there's no one that can protect me better than you. But I need to know how to protect myself. I won't leave you without a fight.” Bucky pulled her closer and kissed her desperately. 

“I can't stand the idea of them getting their hands on you again.” 

“I know. But if I'm going to learn to live with this, I need to prepare myself for the worst. I would rather die one thousand times than be taken away from you, so I'll be damned if I'm going to let myself be an easy target.” Bucky didn't say anything, just pulled at her again until she was in his lap. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and wrapped his arms around her.


	16. Chapter 16

Training Beth to fight wasn't an issue. Finding partners willing to spar with her was a different story. Bucky had already taught her some of the basics, and she had excellent instincts. Now that he knew her origin story her natural talent made a lot more sense. She wasn't abnormally strong or fast, but her mind was incredibly sharp and she forgot nothing. Bruce watched most of her training sessions, furiously taking notes and keeping track of her vitals. A few times he even stuck some kind of electrodes on different parts of her body. Neither one of them knew what kind of information he got from them, but Beth was determined to discover as much about her abilities as possible so she never protested. 

She was getting frustrated, though. Bucky was afraid of hurting her accidentally with his arm, and no matter how much she reasoned with him he refused to budge. Any sparring they did was very subdued. Like their first match weeks ago, she used his unwillingness to hit her to her advantage and landed several punches. 

“Would you fight back?” Beth finally yelled one afternoon. She shoved back the pieces of her hair that had escaped her bun in annoyance. “How am I going to actually learn if you refuse to take me seriously?” 

“I take you very seriously, Elizabeth.” He replied, keeping his voice deliberately low and even. 

“Oh for fucks sake.” She stomped over to grab a bottle of water. 

“I can't hit you. I can't _hurt_ you.” 

“Isn't that how I'm supposed to learn? Believe it or not, I don't want to be punched in the face. Or any where else, really. But how do I learn to not get the shit kicked out of me if I have nothing to block? Besides, any injuries I get just heal, remember?” 

“I don't care!” He exploded. “You think that means dick to me? This is a fucking weapon!” He flexed his metal arm and she heard the sounds of the plates recalibrating. “It doesn't matter if you'll just heal, I can't do it.” The fight went out of him and he sat down on one of the benches, wiping sweat from his face with his arm. A few moments later she was in front of him with a towel. He took it but didn't look at her. 

“Then one of the others has to do it.” 

“Over my cold, dead body.”

“James...” She sighed and sat next to him. “We agreed on this. I need to know how to handle myself in a fight. If you don't want to practice with me, I understand, but I need someone who will.” He scrubbed the towel over his face. 

“I know. I hate it, but I know.” He admitted. 

“How about Nat or Steve? You trust them.” 

“Absolutely not!” He gaped at her in horror. “I've seen Steve rip a phone book in half and Natasha is way too advanced, are you nuts? Wanda, maybe.” 

“Wanda doesn't really do hand to hand combat. What about Pietro?” 

“He's too fast.” Beth rolled her eyes. 

“So I ask him to not use his powers.” She said with a shrug. 

“Why him?” 

“Well I'm not going to try and fight Tony in one of his suits and I'm guessing if you don't want me to spar with Steve, asking Bruce to Hulk out isn't an option either.” 

“Why would you even suggest that?” 

“I'm not, just trying to make sure my argument is air tight.” He swore he could hear her smirk at him. 

“Fine. But Steve and Wanda have to be here too. If that speedy little shit really hurts you they'll need to hold me back.” Beth pulled him towards her and kissed his scowling face. 

“So dramatic. Don't you have any faith in me as your student?” 

…

Pietro was reluctant when they found him. 

“She is less than half my size!” 

“Size matters not.” Beth said in her best Yoda voice. They shot her a confused look. “Oh come on! _Star Wars_? _The Empire Strikes Back_? Yoda?” She poked Pietro in the stomach. “Bucky gets a pass, but we're about the same age! How can you not have seen- Never mind. Not the point. I need someone to fight with and you're the only one we can agree on.” 

“No offense, zaichik, but you are a little bit… Slow.” 

“So you fight me without your powers. Unless you're afraid of me?” Bucky bit the inside of his cheek so he didn't laugh. Beth knew exactly how to play him. Pietro sputtered indignantly. 

“I have been training much longer than you!”

“Then it'll be a short match.” 

“Fine! I will fight you.” 

“Excellent. Go get Wanda and meet us in the gym.” The silver haired man zipped off in what was definitely a huff. 

…

Steve was not thrilled with the plan. He agreed to watch and keep Bucky in check, but he was clearly unhappy to see Beth challenge Pietro. Wanda was a different story, much to her twin's annoyance. “They underestimate you because you are small and a women,” she whispered to Beth. “They do not see the fire I see.” 

Natasha caught wind of what was going on and decided it was too good to miss. She expressed her doubts about it being a fair fight, but wished Beth luck. 

The two of them faced off in the center of the room. Pietro looked very smug and sure of himself, Beth simply went into her fighting stance and nodded to show she was ready. 

“No powers.” Bucky reminded him, and Pietro grunted in response. When Steve gave the go ahead he darted at Beth and swept his leg at her, knocking her down. Even without his super speed he was fast. Bucky growled and took a step forward, Steve gripped his arm tight. Beth rolled away and jumped to her feet. Pietro grinned at her and threw a punch, she blocked it with her forearm and hit him with an uppercut. He backed off and ran a hand over his jaw in surprise. Determined to make sure it was a one time thing he moved towards her again and swung. She ducked and stepped behind him, jumping onto his back with her arm pressing into his neck. 

“Wow.” Natasha said, impressed. Pietro pried her arms away and flipped her over. She landed on her back with a loud smack against the mats but immediately leaped back up. 

“Easy. She's holding her own.” Steve muttered to his friend. 

“That is twice I have knocked you down. You want more?” 

“I'm just warming up.” She replied with a smile. Pietro narrowed his eyes at her and came at her again. He wasn't slowing down, but she still managed to block his fists. Every hit made it more and more difficult for Bucky to stand on the sidelines and watch. She was doing better than he expected she would, it being her first real match, but it was still hard for him to watch. His breath caught in his throat when it looked like Pietro had faked her out and his arm sped towards her face. Beth missed nothing and dodged him, landing a punch to his unprotected stomach. Pietro grunted and hunched over. Before any one could blink Beth brought her leg up and around and kicked him in the shoulder. Completely throw off by her attack, Beth used his first move against him and swept his legs out from under him. As soon as Pietro went down she pounced and yanked his arm behind his back. If he tried to move she could easily dislocate his shoulder. 

Steve, Natasha, and Bucky just stared open mouthed. Wanda was doubled over in silent laughter. Beth leaned down to Pietro's ear. 

“I think I win this one.” She said.

“I know when I have been beaten. You are a very strong opponent, zaichik.” Beth climbed off his back and let him stand. 

“That was- You-” Steve stammered. “How did you _do_ that?” 

“I'm tiny.” Beth said flatly. “I don't have small dog syndrome, I know exactly how my size limits me. When you don't have size or brute strength to your advantage you have to figure out something else. I have a feeling anyone that wants to really attack me will underestimate me just like all of you did, so I'll use that against them. And when in doubt; duck, dodge, or roll. I'm not stupid.” Natasha laughed.

“Oh my god. You're brilliant! I know you like to train with Bucky, but you have to let me teach you some things. You'll be unstoppable.” Beth grinned. 

“I like the sound of that.” She replied. She looked over at Pietro and reached out a hand. “We're still good?” Pietro shook her hand enthusiastically. 

“Never have I been so honored to lose a fight. And to such a beautiful woman.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. 

“Okay, okay, that's enough.” Bucky stalked over and threw his arm over Beth's shoulders. 

“You are a very lucky man, Barnes.” Pietro purred. 

“Quit the Casanova act or start running, Speedy, before I become your next opponent.” Beth laid a hand on his chest. 

“This is really cute and all, but you boys can cut the crap now.” Bucky looked down at her sheepishly. “Why don't we call it a day and go watch a movie? It's crime against pop culture that you haven't seen Star Wars.” She smiled at the rest of them. “Thanks for the help, guys. Nat, I'll let you know when we can do some training together. 

…

The cozy quiet of their rooms helped to further soothe Bucky's nerves. He was relieved to be away from everyone so he could look Beth over and reassure himself that she was unharmed. He turned to her as soon as their door was shut but before he could say a word she was wrapped around him and her lips were pressed against his. Instantly aroused, his arms went around her, lifting her up and walking her over to their couch. 

“That was such a rush,” she groaned. “I'll admit it made me feel pretty powerful. And then you standing there, watching me...” She bit down on his neck and his hips bucked against her. 

“Shit.” He was already hard and needy. They hadn't been intimate after their first time together and the rush of desire nearly made him dizzy. 

“You were so wonderful our first time.” She breathed into his ear. “So sweet, you made me feel so loved.” She pulled her tank top over her head and tossed it aside. Bucky traced a finger over the edge of her bra. She wore soft and simple undergarments. He had no doubt that she would look absolutely stunning in silk or lace, but there was something so innocently provocative about the cotton she preferred. Beth gripped a handful of his hair and pulled his head back. The rough motion turned him on even more. “You don't have to be sweet this time.” She murmured. 

“Jesus, Doll.” She kissed him again, rolling her tongue in his mouth and then pulled away and slipped off his lap. “What- where are you going?” She laughed and removed her bra. 

“The shower. Feel like joining me?” He got up to follow her, shedding his own clothing and she giggled and ran for the bathroom. He caught up to her in the door way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to write something with a little bit of fluff. I watched season 4 of OITNB in 2 days and I haven't recovered. Hope you all liked this chapter n_n


	17. Chapter 17

Beth sat on an examination table in the lab while Bruce attached electrodes to various parts of her body. She was wearing only a sports bra and a pair of shorts, and her hair was wound into a tight bun so it wouldn't obstruct any view of her body. Bucky was infinitely more anxious than she was, and he was just an observer. 

“Are you sure you're comfortable with this?” He asked her quietly, taking her hands into his. Beth gave him a small smile and nodded.

“I'd be lying if I said I was looking forward to this, but it's the first step towards hopefully understanding what I can do.”

“I won't leave you for a second.” He said. She leaned towards him carefully, mindful that she didn't displace any of the electrodes, and gave him a light kiss. He melted against her lips for a moment before stepping back. He looked over at Wanda who was standing in the corner of the room. “Promise me you'll pull out if she gets overwhelmed.” He demanded. “Neither of you do anything that hurts her in any way.” He glanced over at the doctor to make sure he understood him. 

“Beth's safety and well being is our main concern. I'll be keeping an eye on her stats here on the computer the entire time.” Bruce said, attempting to reassure Bucky. 

“If her mind becomes distressed I will calm her.” Wanda promised. “We have agreed on a 'happy place' that I will project into her thoughts if needed.” Bucky shot Beth a questioning glance. 

“I came prepared.” She said simply. Bucky sighed and stepped back from her. 

“How does this work, then?” 

“Tony is bringing someone with a recent injury. He sent me a text a few minutes ago, they should be here soon.” Bruce replied.

“He didn't, um, make the injury did he?” Beth asked. Bucky snorted.

“Not that I'm aware of. Oh, here they are.” Tony walked in with a tall, muscular man wearing a cast and sling on his right arm. There were bruises all over the same side of his face. 

“Howdy, kids. You asked for an injury and I have delivered. This is Mike, he's a security guard for Stark Industries, and he was in a car accident a few days ago.” 

“Uh, hello. I'm Dr. Banner.” Bruce waved awkwardly. “I'm not sure what Tony has told you about why you're here...”

“Mr. Stark told me he could heal my arm so I can get back to work. I had to sign a nondisclosure agreement.” The man looked nervous. “Who's the half naked chick?” Bucky narrowed his eyes and pushed his sleeve up a little, just enough to show the glint of his metal arm. 

“She'll be the one doing the healing. Maybe. I'm sorry, but can you excuse us for just a moment, sir?” Mike nodded and stepped out of the room and Bruce closed the door. He turned to Tony and raked his hand through his hair. “Are you sure this is the guy you want to try this on? There weren't any agents available, you know someone whose job is keeping secrets? Important secrets?” Tony shrugged.

“You told me to find someone with a recent injury. I assumed you meant someone that was also willing. Mike checked those boxes.” 

“How much are you paying him, exactly?” Bruce asked and Tony grinned at the question.

“$250,000. You know me too well. Money talks, and this guy likes his job. He gets a nice cash cushion, and doesn't need to spend the next few months sitting at home in front of terrible day time TV. We get someone for the kid to heal. Win-win.” 

“People have to know he was in an accident. How do you explain it away? Jesus, Tony do you ever think anything through?” 

“Hey!” 

“No. This is too risky. Wanda, do your skills include erasing memories?” Bruce asked. She nodded. 

“It is not one of my favorite things to do, but it should not be difficult.” 

“Good, Tony take her and then get him out of here.” Bruce sat down and rested his face in his hands. “I don't think we're going to be able to do this today, I'm sorry Beth.” He mumbled.

“It's okay, I understand. The set back is a little frustrating, but we'll figure something out.” 

“What if you heal me?” Bucky asked. 

“Huh? From what?” Beth looked at him with alarm. 

“I don't know. I'm sure I can think up some way to hurt myself so you can patch me up.” 

“ _On purpose_? No!” 

“Why not?” He paused when Wanda came back in.

“Tony is taking him home. He should not remember anything from the last few hours.” She looked at everyone and frowned. “What is wrong?”

“Nothing, just Bucky talking about hurting himself so I have something to heal. You've already cut yourself to make a point, and now you want to do something else? What the hell, Bucky?” 

“While I appreciate your generous offer,” Bruce interjected. “I'd really prefer someone she doesn't know so we can keep personal feelings out of it. Both times she's used this power her emotional state was… Elevated. We need to see if it's possible for her ability to manifest in a neutral, controlled setting.” 

“Finally, someone with sense.” Beth muttered. Wanda cleared her throat.

“Maybe we could try a regression? I might be able to tap into the memory of the day you healed Tony. Do you think you could get some readings from that?” She asked. Bruce looked thoughtful for a moment and nodded slowly. 

“We may be able to get some brain wave readings...” He chewed his thumb nail. “It's worth a try if you're willing, Beth.” 

“As long as Bucky doesn't need to bleed or break something, I'm good.” Bucky rolled his eyes but he squeezed her hand reassuringly. “What do I have to do?” Wanda stepped in front of her.

“Just relax. Think back to that day, it will make the memory easier for me to find...” Beth took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure what she expected to happen, and at first nothing seemed to change. She concentrated on the morning she had gone to the lab with Bucky. How nothing had been out of the ordinary, everyone had had a nice breakfast together before the two of them got onto the elevator.

_He's so handsome but he always looks a little sad. I wish he would smile more, I get butterflies every time he does._

Wanda smiled and zeroed in on Beth's memory of her and Bucky riding the elevator that morning. She flicked her eyes over to Bruce and gave a subtle nod to let him know she was on the right track. 

_Oh my god, what's happening? Was that Tony yelling? Was that a stool? What does 'Code Green' mean?_

_“Get in the elevator, get away from here!” Bucky pushes me behind him. I'm so confused. What the hell is that?_

_“Where's Bruce? What's happening?” Oh god. Did that giant kill the doctor?_

_“That IS Bruce.” Tony. He looks like he's injured. Bucky is talking to him but I can't hear anything they're saying. I feel like I could run for miles or faint all at the same time. It's so hot, when did it get so hot?_

_“You're hurt.” They're talking again. Tony presses his hand against his side and everything starts to swim a little before my eyes, before snapping into absolute clarity. I can SEE everything. I don't really hear them anymore. What is this feeling, this energy? It's like fire in my veins. Oh. His shirt is in the way. I need to SEE. “You're hurt.” Riiiip. There, that's better. It's all red, I need to take the red away. I just need to reach out and… Ohhh it hurts, ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts. Breathe in. Breathe out. Let go of it, just let it go._

_Bruce._

_Need to help._

_“Open the door.” Why doesn't it listen? “Open. The door.” Yes. So much pain, oh you poor thing. “Dr. Banner, look at me.” Take my hand, I'll help you. “Be calm.” He's moving. Duck! Okay. It's okay. I'll wait. Please just let me help. Oh god I'm so tired, please just let me help. I can't do this anymore just let me help. Yes. Come here. Be calm, be at peace, rest. There he is, Bruce is back. I'm so tired. Tony. Bucky. “He needs to sleep now.” Everything is going dark, I can't…_

“Beth! Hey! Stay with me!” Bucky was holding her up so she didn't slid off the table. Wanda pulled out as fast and gently as she could, making sure she didn't damage her mind. Her eyes had shimmered, but the light hadn't overtaken them. She felt like she was running a low fever, and she looked exhausted. 

“I'm okay.” Beth said weakly. “I didn't think I would feel so tired.” Bruce was flitting around his equipment trying to take in all the information at once. When he heard her speak he stopped and immediately began to examine her. 

“Your pulse is a little fast, but nothing to worry about.” He swiped a thermometer across her forehead. “100.8. Wow, I didn't expect that. Your body started to react as if you were actually using your ability.” 

“I'm okay,” Beth repeated, giving Bucky's hand a squeeze. “Really, I'm just tired.” He pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her. She breathed in his scent and it filled her with relief. “It doesn't feel the same. I could feel it all in my head but when I came back, it isn't the same.” 

“Aw you guys started without me?” Tony was back. Beth pulled away as much as Bucky would let her and smiled at the other man. 

“Sorry you missed the party, T.” Tony walked over to Bruce and looked at the data on the computers. 

“What are we looking at?” He asked. The doctor shook his head. 

“I'm not sure what all of it means yet, but her brain lit up like the fourth of July. I can't imagine what the readings would look like if she were actually doing it.” He sounded giddy. 

“Hey. Still in the room.” Beth said. Bruce looked sheepish. 

“Sorry. I just got excited. I've never seen anything like this, Beth. You're amazing.” She blushed dark red and buried her face in Bucky's chest. “I don't even know if I can explain your abilities, but if there's an answer to be found I'll try my hardest to find it.” Bruce patted her back gently. “If you're willing to try it again under controlled conditions with someone, I would still like to get some active readings. You don't need to give me an answer right now.” He met Bucky's eyes. “Why don't you go rest. Drink some water, eat something, take a nap.” 

“Doctor's orders?” She asked with a small smile. 

“Yes. And I don't want you training at all for the next twenty four hours.” 

“Got it- Hey!” Beth yelped when Bucky scooped her into his arms and started carrying her out of the lab. “Okay then. Thank you for the help!” She yelled. Wanda, Bruce, and Tony just laughed in response. 

…

He didn't set her down until they were back in their rooms. He laid her down on the couch and brought her a bottle of water and some cheese crackers.

“Thank you.” She sat up and tugged his arm until he sat next to her. Beth snuggled into his side and nibbled her snack. 

“Are you sure you're okay? You weren't just saying that for my benefit?” He asked. 

“I'm really okay. It felt more like an echo of what happened before. My head doesn't even hurt anymore.” She reached behind her head and pulled at the pins in her hair. When she worked them out she shook her head and sighed happily as her hair tumbled down around her shoulders. “That's better.” Bucky ran his fingers through her hair and she hummed in pleasure. “I hope Bruce can give me some answers about all of this.” 

“He's probably the smartest person I've ever met, if anyone can it's him.” 

“HYDRA studied me for sixteen years and they couldn't figure me out.” 

“HYDRA didn't actually care. They didn't study you, they tortured you.” When Beth stayed silent he regretted his words. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that.” 

“No, you're right. I was just an experiment to them. Everything they did to me, everything I recovered from, they saw it as some kind of testament to their own perceived genius.” She traced random patterns on his leg with her fingers. “I guess I needed to believe that there was some method to their madness. But when I really think about it I was nothing but an outlet for their cruelty.” Bucky took her hand and lifted to his lips. 

“I hope you get your answers.” He told her. “Do you need me to call Wanda to 'project your happy place into your thoughts'?” Beth laughed. 

“No, I'm okay.” 

“Is it all right if I ask what it was?” 

“A memory.” She said with a smile. 

“Your mom?” 

“No. That night when you took me to see the stars.”


	18. Chapter 18

Nightmares were thankfully few and far between for Bucky at this point, and since Beth had begun to share his bed he hadn't had one. Until now. Beth woke up confused, the room was still dark and Bucky was writhing next to her. He didn't normally move a whole lot in his sleep, but her sleepy brain didn't catch on until she heard an agonized groan. She sat up and looked over at him, her eyes adjusting quickly to the dark. Sweat beaded on his forehead causing some of his hair to stick to his skin, his fists clenched at the end of his arms that were rigid at his sides. His breath came alarmingly quick. 

“Bucky?” She said quietly, unsure how to wake him. His face turned towards her and he whimpered. She reached out cautiously to brush the hair off of his face but his metal hand clamped around her wrist almost as soon as she made contact. “Bucky! Wake up, it's me!” She gasped when he began to squeeze, and she felt her bones grind together. Panic rose in her throat but she forced herself to swallow it down. “James Buchanan Barnes, wake up this instant!” She raised her voice and pinched his arm as hard as she could manage with her free hand. Immediately the grip on her wrist loosened and his eyes snapped open. 

“Beth?” He croaked. When he realized he was holding onto her with his metal hand he sat up and examined her arm. “Oh my god, did I hurt you? FRIDAY turn on the lights.” The room flooded with light and he felt sick as he watched the ugly purple bruise fade from her skin. His eyes filled with tears and he looked at her in horror. “I'm so sorry, Beth.” 

“Hey, shh...” She wrapped her arms around him and stroked his hair. He laid his head in her lap and struggled to not go into a panic attack. “Bucky, it's okay. I've got you.” She kept her voice low and tried to soothe him. “It was just a nightmare, it's all over now.” 

“I hurt you.” 

“I'm okay, don't worry about me.” She kissed the top of his head. “Deep breaths, okay?” She took his flesh hand and laid it against her chest. “Just concentrate of my heartbeat, can you do that for me?” 

“They took you.” He choked out. “They found you and they took you. Everyone died and they put me back into cryo and-” 

“Shh… I'm right here.” Bucky closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind. He could feel the gentle thump of her heart under his palm. He could smell the light scent of her shampoo. Those were her hands touching him; she was here and safe and whole. 

“I'm sorry.” He whispered. Beth shifted so she could lay back down. He slid his arms around her and rested his head on her chest. 

“There's nothing you need to apologize for. You can't help having a nightmare.” She ran her nails up and down his back in the way she knew he loved. “You know what I'd love to do?” She asked on a whim, trying to distract him. Bucky made a questioning sound in response. “Some day I'd love to go to Hawaii. My Mom and I spent a lot of summers in the mountains, I guess looking back it was because it was easy to stay secluded in a cabin in the woods. Kind of cliché, huh? We would fish and swim in these little streams and rivers, but the water was always so cold. It was nice when it got really hot, but I still remember her making me get out of the water because my lips would start to turn blue. She told me my Dad taught her how to fish when they first started dating. She didn't talk about him much, but when she did her face would light up. I know she missed him with her entire heart. Sometimes I think I remember him, but maybe it's just those few stories she told me.” 

“Why Hawaii?” 

“I've never been to the beach. Well, I've been to a few lakes, they have beaches. But I think I'd like to spend a few days in the sun, digging my toes in the sand… Maybe try one of those fruity drinks they serve in a coconut or whatever.” 

“That does sound nice.”

“Even the coconut drink?” Bucky chuckled. 

“Sure, why not?” He lifted his head and looked at her. “Thanks.” 

“It's no problem.” She replied, kissing his forehead. “Do you feel any better?” Bucky nodded and nuzzled the side of her face. Beth giggled. “Try to go back to sleep, I'll make you pancakes in the morning. Well it's already morning, but I'll still make them for you. Later.” She yawned. 

“Sorry I woke you up.” 

“I told you, no apologies needed. I'd stay up all night with you if you needed. You'd do the same for me.” She stroked his hair. “I love you, James. Good nights and bad.” 

As Bucky drifted back off to sleep, it occurred to him that he had never been able to recover so quickly from a nightmare. 

…

He couldn't shake the images from his mind, though. As she kept her promise at the stove a few hours later, flipping hot pancakes onto plates, he kept flashing back to her chained down in his dream. Steve joked with her and he saw his best friend lying dead in a pool of blood. Natasha annoyed Tony by playing keep away with the syrup, Pietro shoveled food into his mouth like he was starving, Wanda laughed and nibbled, Bruce sipped a cup of tea with an amused grin, Vision took everything in with stoic curiosity; and he couldn't see past the horrors in his head. 

“That's the last of the batter, guys, and I'm eating these.” Beth said over her shoulder. “And since I cooked, you all can clean.” Tony threw an arm around her shoulders.

“Awful bossy for someone so small.” He teased.

“Next time you cook a meal for everyone, you can be the boss.” She replied.

“Ha! You heard her! I'm holding you to it, kid.” 

“If you're cooking it, there's no way I'm eating it.” Natasha said with a smirk. 

“You'll eat what the boss tells you to eat.” Beth rolled her eyes and placed the last pancake onto her plate. She sat down next to Bucky and smiled at him. He reached over and rested his hand on her leg, holding on to a part of her calmed him down enough to get relief from his overactive brain. 

“Ugh, get a room. Always making eyes at each other.” Tony said, earning him a scowl from Bucky. 

“We have a room, thank you. It's very nice. Sturdy furniture.” Beth said demurely. Natasha choked on her coffee. 

“Did our little Beth just make a grown up joke?” 

“Ew. That's my cue to get my ass back to work. You're turning her into a perv.” Tony ruffled Beth's hair on his way past. Bruce followed behind him, shaking his head. 

“Says the biggest perv in the tower!” Natasha couldn't contain her laughter. “You want to do some training today, Beth?” She asked. Beth looked over at Bucky. He had barely spoken a word all morning. 

“I don't think so, maybe tomorrow?” Natasha nodded. 

“Sounds good. You've earned a day off. You should be proud of your girl, Barnes. She gives it everything she's got.” Bucky looked up when he heard his name.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. She's small, but mighty.” He flashed Beth a genuine smile. “Fast, too.” He gently squeezed her knee. His biggest fear was that she would end up needing to use the skills she was learning, but seeing her improve with every training session filled him with a great deal of pride. It was a brutal conflict of interests. 

Everyone snapped to attention when Wanda cried out in alarm, her eyes going wide and startled. Pietro rushed to his sister's side.

“What is it?” 

“I-I think someone is watching us. I suddenly felt so much _rage_.” She pressed her fingers to her temple. 

“FRIDAY get Tony and Bruce back up here.” Natasha ordered and she quickly but cautiously approached one of the windows, her eyes scanning the city below. “Can you see anything else, Wanda?” 

“Nothing.” Wanda gripped her brother's hands and looked into his eyes. “They can block me. They know who I am, and they know how to get through my defenses.” 

“HYDRA?” Pietro whispered, failing to suppress the shudder that went down his spine. “Who else could get to you from outside the building?” Bucky yanked Beth into his arms. His nightmare came roaring back into his mind. 

“It's broad day light!” Beth exclaimed. “They couldn't be that stupid!” Her voice was angry and strong, but her body betrayed her. Bucky could feel her tremble against him. “Why would they attack Wanda?” 

“It isn't an attack. It's a warning.” Steve said grimly. Tony and Bruce ran in panting for breath. 

“What happened?” 

“Someone's reaching out through Wanda.” Steve told them. Wanda cried out and grabbed her head. 

“They know! They want her back!” Pietro pulled his sister into his arms and she whimpered. 

“We must block them! They are hurting her!” He looked over at Vision, begging silently. The android floated over and pressed two fingers against her forehead. 

“Please try to calm your mind,” he said in his smooth voice. “I believe I can help you.” The gem in his forehead twinkled and Wanda sighed in relief. 

“I do not feel them in my head.” She turned her gaze onto Bucky and Beth. “Steve is right, that was a warning. They want you back and they are prepared for a fight.” 

“They'll get one.” Bucky growled. 

“I don't want anyone getting hurt because of me.” Beth said. 

“I'll die before they get their hands on you.” Bucky told her. 

“And how am I supposed to live with that?” She cried, pulling away. She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. “I can recover from anything they do to me, except for that. There has to be a better way.” She turned her pleading eyes to Steve and Tony. “I've been here for months. We all knew they would make a move sooner or later, please tell me you've thought of some kind of plan.” The two men shared a meaningful look. 

“It's not so much a 'plan' as it is a rough idea.” Tony admitted. 

“Well?” Beth demanded. 

“It isn't ideal.” Steve said, obviously stalling. He stole a glance over at Bucky. 

“I swear to god, if you say what I think you're about to-” Bucky took a few steps towards his friend, looking like he was about to commit murder. 

“We need to get inside, right? If we can eliminate the rest of the people involved in the project there's a good chance the ones in power will decide to cut their losses. They have their fingers in too many pies to keep pursuing every side venture.” Steve looked at Bucky, clearly begging him to understand. “If we appear to cut a deal-”

“You mean to use her as bait.” 

“Not exactly-” 

“It's not happening.” Beth stepped between the two men. 

“What about what I have to say about this?” 

“I won't let you do this!” 

“Then I'll keep running for the rest of my life? And who knows how long that will be? If there's a way to potentially end this, doesn't it make sense to try?” 

“And if we fail, you end up back on their butcher block? It's not worth it!” Bucky felt like he was going to be sick. Beth reached up and took his face in her hands. 

“I don't want to keep having to look over my shoulder forever.” She said softly. “I've left this tower a grand total of two times because it isn't safe. If we don't make a move I continue to put all of you in danger, let alone myself.” 

“The twins are still here, _you're_ still here. HYDRA doesn't take defeat easily, but they don't fight forever. Their main objective is to stay alive. One little girl won't be worth their whole organization.” Steve said gently, treading carefully. “Believe me, this isn't something I want to do. And I wouldn't go through with it if Beth didn't agree. Everyone is on board, or no one is.” Bucky dropped his head in defeat. His worst fears were coming to pass and he felt helpless. 

“I want a life with you,” Beth whispered so only he could hear. “I want to go outside and not have to worry, I want to go to that beach one day.” 

“I won't let them take you. I won't let them hurt any of you.” Indifferent to the public setting Beth pulled him in for a fierce kiss. 

“I've already let myself be taken. I spent sixteen years laying down and taking whatever they did. Never again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of those chapters where I had a rough idea, but it kind of ended up writing itself? Hope you all enjoyed it! <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lil bit of angst...

Beth tried her hardest to stay calm while she packed her bag. She folded her clothes methodically, trying to concentrate on each crease, and to keep her thoughts from straying into the dangerous world of what ifs. In contrast, Bucky was a wild animal. He paced around their room like a bad tempered big cat, rolling articles of clothing and shoving them into a duffel bag, barely paying attention to what he was packing. 

“I don't like this.” He snapped. Beth spared him a glance and offered a weak smile. 

“It's not the ideal way to spend a weekend.” Her attempt at a joke to break the tension did not go over well. 

“Do you think this is funny?” He yelled, ripping a tee shirt in half in his fury. 

“Hilarious! I'm absolutely rolling on the floor!” Her eyes burned with tears. “I'm only risking my freedom, my life, and the lives and safety of the only people I have in the whole world! I'm potentially walking away from a life and future with the man I love! A man who seems to think I haven't thought this through, that I'm not aware of what I, what we all stand to lose.” Her cool, aloof illusion fell completely away, she was white as a sheet and trembling like a leaf. 

“They're going to see through this, you can't believe that you can actually get away with this!” 

“I honestly don't know how I think it's going to play out, but I need to believe that everything will work out for the best. If I let myself think about everything that could go wrong, I'll lose it. Bucky, I can't do this without you.” She looked up at him, tears spilling down her cheeks. “Wanda is terrified. Vision is blocking whatever they're doing, but can he keep it up forever? What happens to her if they figure out a way around him? What happens when they attack in a completely different way? Do I stay hidden in this tower for the rest of my life? Who knows how long that is? I can't live like this. I can't sit back and watch you all suffer because HYDRA wants me back. If we don't strike now, when?” Beth walked over to him and took his hand into hers, gently pulling at his fingers until he relaxed his fist. 

“This is the best plan we have. It's the _only_ plan we have, but if we're going into this at odds with each other...” She broke off and threw her arms around him. “If these are our last nights together I couldn't stand it we spent them fighting.” It was like trying to embrace a brick wall. “No regrets, Bucky. Don't push me away now.” She nuzzled his chest and slid her hands under his shirt and up his back. She heard him sigh and felt his arms go around her. 

“They don't want me there.” He said, his voice gentler than it had been. It had been a long, loud, and angry discussion about whether Bucky would go or not. In the end Beth had insisted he be included. 

“I don't want any of you there, but it's necessary. And not fair to try and leave you behind.” He took her chin between his fingers and tipped her head back. 

“They would have had to strap me down or put me back on ice. Where you go, I go, Doll.” Beth smiled. Bucky wiped a tear away with his thumb. 

“No more fighting. I hate this as much as you do.” 

“No more fighting,” he agreed. “With you. Steve really pissed me off.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss against her curving lips. He let out a surprised moan when she ran her nails down his back, and broke away from the kiss. She stepped back and tugged his shirt off. “You switched gears pretty fast.” He grinned and reached for hers, but she took another step back and pulled it off herself. 

“I always seem to want you.” She told him. “And at the risk of ruining the mood; we may not have a lot of time left. I'm going to have you while I still can.” Bucky reached out and traced a finger over the subtle curve of her breast. 

“Can't argue with that logic. I always seem to want you, too.” Beth pushed her leggings and panties down her legs. “Impatient?” He asked with a laugh, drinking in her naked body. 

“Not particularly, but I'm not interested in wasting any time.” She crept closer and cupped her hand around the slight bulge in his jeans and his eyes widened at the bold gesture. “I need you.” She said. He watched her hands run down his arms with a shiver. She never hesitated to touch his metal appendage, and it made him ridiculously happy. Her lack of fear soothed a lot of his self consciousness. 

“This isn't a goodbye.” He blurted out, not realizing he needed to say it until the words hung in the air between them. 

“No, it's not.” She looked up at him seriously. “It's a promise.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. He rested his forehead against hers. “I'm coming back to you, no matter what happens. Nothing will keep me away from you.” Beth backed up towards the bed, pulling him with her. She sat down and unbuttoned his pants, watching his eyes grow dark with desire. She pushed the denim down his legs and he stepped out of his jeans. She ran a hand down his chest, trailing away until her fingertips just brushed his stomach. Meeting his eyes again, she scooted back on the bed and made room for Bucky to lay next to her. 

It never ceased to amaze him how fragile she felt in his arms. He had seen her strength on several occasions, but when all of her walls fell away she was remarkably soft. His own body was littered with scars and evidence of the brutal life he had lived, but her skin was perfect and unmarked. It was like she had spent her life untouched, until you looked into her eyes. It was always like a punch to his gut, looking into those deep, gray pools. She looked at him with so much love and hope, but he could still see the sadness and fear that he doubted would ever be completely erased. Bucky knew he would spend the rest of his life trying. 

“You are so beautiful.” He murmured, pressing his lips against every inch of skin he could reach. 

“So are you.” She whispered back, a little shyly. Her hands drifted over his body as if she were attempting to memorize every inch and the thought made a dull ache bloom in his chest. She scraped her teeth over his neck and he shivered, pulling her closer. 

“We're coming back. I won't rest until you're back here, safe in our bed.” He swore. Beth pushed him over and rolled on top of him. 

“Together, or not at all.” She captured his lips in a hard kiss. He moaned into her mouth when her hand wrapped around him, guiding him to her entrance. Beth let out a sigh as she sunk down on his length. To Bucky it felt like coming home. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in the crook of her neck while she rocked in his lap. It was a slow burn, building until every nerve ending in their bodies sang with pleasure. Instead of chasing after release, they reveled in the feel of each other. 

When they reached the peak, they went over together, the others name falling from their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, this was difficult for me to write. I started at stopped soooo many times. I hope it comes across the way I intended, and as always thank you for reading. Your feedback makes me incredibly happy <3


	20. Chapter 20

Beth, Bucky, and Steve arrived at the safe house with no interference. It was nothing fancy, but the furniture was comfortable and sturdy. The two men combed through the entire house, no room was overlooked. 

“All clear.” Steve said. Bucky relaxed slightly and released his grip on Beth's hand. 

“You let Stark know?” He asked. 

“You there, Tony?” Steve asked after he turned on his ear piece. “We're here. You can make the call now.” A few seconds passed and Bucky's phone started to ring. The three of them took deep breaths and Bucky answered, putting the call on speaker. 

“Fuck off, Stark.” He growled. 

_“Where the hell are you, where's the girl?”_

“She's safe,” he spat. “Did you really think I was going to let you make a deal with HYDRA? You're out of your fucking mind.”

_“Making a deal is our only option at this point. We can't continue to put the entire team at risk because you have some kind of middle school crush on this woman. And you drag Rogers into this? He's gonna get fed up with your recklessness sooner or later, and then what? Guess you haven't changed all that much, always looking out for number one.”_

“I'm done talking. If you refuse to keep her safe, then I'll do it myself. Rogers can do whatever the hell he wants.”

_“Trouble in paradise already? What a surprise.”_

“Goodbye, Stark.”

_“We're already tracking you, there's no place on earth you can hide, pal. Run all you wa-”_ Bucky ended the call. Beth hugged herself, trying desperately to chase away the chill she felt down to her bones. 

“Do you think they were listening?” She asked, biting her lip. 

“Tony put the crack in the security himself, they've been picking stuff up for a few days now. Someone is listening.” Steve reassured her. “The plan is intact, we just have to stay calm and trust each other to follow through.” Bucky shrugged out of his jacket and put it around her, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. 

“Stark, Natasha, Vision, and the Twins will be flying out on the quinjet in the next hour or so. Everything is going to be fine.” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and leaned down to kiss her. 

“Okay, lame third wheel guy heading to his room.” Steve rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Try to get some rest and remember the fact that I have ears.” He lifted his bag and disappeared into one of the bedrooms. 

“Are you hungry or anything?” Bucky asked her. Beth shook her head. 

“Just the thought of food makes my stomach turn right now. I know I said I wanted to do this and it's too late to turn back now but I'm so scared, Bucky.” She looked up at him, tears threatening to fall. He sat down on the sofa and gathered her into his arms. 

“Hey, it's all right. I'd honestly be worried if you weren't scared.” 

“I wish we could fast forward and be back in our room, finally safe.” 

“Me too, Doll.” Bucky kissed the top of her head. “No reward without risk, right?” Beth nodded and chewed on her thumb nail. 

“So now we wait.” She muttered. 

…

The next few hours were quiet. None of them felt much like talking, so they sat together in the common area occupied by different activities. Steve sat with his sketch pad propped up on his leg, his pencil making soft scratching sounds on the paper. When the light started to go he looked over at the window and blinked, surprised to see the early evening had snuck up on them. Bucky was leaning back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. The Fellowship of the Ring dangled from his right hand. Beth's head was in his lap and she was asleep, her own book lying next to her. Bucky's metal hand was splayed out on her hip. 

“Shouldn't we have heard something by now?” Bucky asked quietly. He was getting impatient, and it was making his stomach roll nervously. 

“I'm sure everything is fine,” Steve answered. “We're still running according to plan, so there's no point in getting worried at this point. There's still a few hours of day light.” They both jumped when the phone went off again. Beth bolted upright and clutched her chest.

“What is it?” She looked around the room as if she were expecting an attack.

“Just Stark.” Steve answered the call. “What is it now, Tony?” He made sure to make his voice sound weary. 

_“I have to say I'm a little disappointed with you and Frosty. How long did he manage to stay hidden? Guess you aren't used to running with a chick, thinking of her comfort first… I gotta say, I expected more of a challenge.”_

“What are you talking about?” Steve questioned, and nodded at Bucky and Beth. Beth started pulling on her boots and Bucky slipped into his jacket. 

_“Just do us all a favor and come quietly? I know that's not your strong suit, but it's time you started taking your team in to consideration. You know, those people that have fought by your side? People you've known for years? You end this now and maybe we can work this out.”_

“You know I can't do that.” He passed the phone to Bucky and started his weapon check. 

_“We know where you are.”_ Tony let out a long, frustrated sigh. _“I'm sorry you think we have to do this the hard way. It was nice while it lasted.”_ Beth gripped Bucky's hand and squeezed. He looked over at her and tried to give her a reassuring smile. _“We'll be on you in five minutes. No time to run.”_ The line went silent and the three of them picked up their back packs. 

“Ready?” Steve swung his pack over his shoulders. “Now or never.” They went out the door and started to run towards the sparse woods behind the house. The two super soldiers had nearly a foot of height on her, not to mention their increased stamina, and Beth struggled not to fall behind. She searched the sky for a glimpse of the quinjet, terrified that they would be too late. The faint sound of an engine had her turning her head behind them. It was all it took. Her foot dislodged a stone and her ankle twisted. Pain radiated up her left side as she hit the ground. 

“Beth!” Bucky slowed down. 

“I'm fine! Keep going!” She pushed herself back on to her feet and she could feel her injured ankle start to repair itself. The sound grew louder and they all realized that it was a helicopter, not the rest of their team. 

“Steve! It's them!” Both men came to a stop and started running back towards her. Beth did her best to keep running, but it was still painful to put weight on her leg while it was healing. She had never had to heal while she was running for her life. 

“Get down, Beth!” Bucky screamed at her, but in the confusion of everything she couldn't make her body react fast enough. The familiar sound of a gun going off echoed through the air. “Beth!” The bullet hit her in the back, going right through her spine. She went down and rolled. Steve grabbed Bucky's arm. 

“You gotta stop, pal. We knew this was a possibility.” He panted, but his friend seemed beyond hearing. Knowing it was a possible outcome and seeing it were two very different things. A HYDRA agent jogged up to Beth, who was trying to crawl away, dragging her lower body. Bucky's vision went red when the man held up his gun again and fired a bullet into the back of her skull. She went instantly slack, clearly dead. Steve, still trying his best to stick to the plan had to practically tackle him. 

“She's not worth it! Stop! I don't know why I let you do this!” It hurt his heart, having to say the words, but he had to be the rational one. Bucky actually roared in his fury. The man had thrown Beth's body over his shoulder like she was nothing and carried her back to the helicopter, which was quickly rising back into the air. “Bucky, you have to calm down.” Steve yelled directly into his ear. 

“This wasn't how it was supposed to happen!” He screamed. “I knew we shouldn't have done this!” He didn't even look over as the quinjet landed. Natasha ran down the ramp as it lowered.

“Would you get the fuck over here? If we want any chance of tracking them we have to go, now!” She yelled. Steve tugged on Bucky's arm, urging him to follow him. 

“We're going to get her back, but we have to go, Buck.” He turned and they ran onto the jet. Wanda was weeping quietly, her brother's arm wrapped around her shoulders. Tony was sitting in the pilot's chair, his jaw clenched, grinding his teeth in anger. Even Vision looked disheartened. 

“Her mind just went silent.” Wanda sobbed. “Like a line being cut.” Bucky looked like he wanted to snap at the woman so Steve yanked him away and shoved him into a chair. 

“Get a hold of yourself.” He ordered. “It didn't all go according to plan, so we adjust. That's why we put contingencies in place.” He knelt down in front of his friend and nearly recoiled at the blank, dead look in Bucky's eyes. It reminded him too much of The Winter Solider. “Bucky. We're going to bring her home, I promise.” Bucky flicked his eyes up at Steve.

“They will pay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH cliffhanger! 
> 
> Thanks for reading <3 xoxo


	21. Chapter 21

_The air smelled stale and musty, like a basement nobody had bothered to clean in many years. It never failed, the sense of smell was always the first to come back. Usually followed by… Yes. Someone was crying, the desperate sounds of terrified sobbing faded in._

She had to do something, but she couldn't quite remember. It had to do with running? Running to… It was right there in front of her, the foggy thought seemed to hang just out of reach. She had to keep up, she had to pay attention, she had to-

“Bucky!” Beth yelled as she came back fully. Her chest heaved as she took her first deep, full breaths. 

“What the fuck?” A startled voice cried out. Beth's head whipped around and she regretted the motion when her stomach revolted, she tried desperately to stop herself from being sick. “I- You- You were dead?” Beth looked up and saw a woman sitting a few feet away from her on a dirty cot. When she was sure the urge to vomit had passed for the time being she nodded carefully.

“I was.” She croaked. 

“Oh my god. I thought you were some new form of torture. I thought they stuck you in here with me as some kind of warning.” Beth looked around, trying to get some idea of where they were. The two of them were being held in a cell, with actual iron bars. There was a tiny porthole window that let in a weak beam of sunlight, far too high up for either of them to even think of trying to look out. 

“Do you know where we are?” She asked. The other woman shook her head.

“Not a clue.” Beth gagged and covered her mouth with her hand. The woman jumped up and made to help her up. “Here, there's a toilet in the corner.” She helped Beth over just in time, and held her hair back while she was sick. 

“Sorry,” she gasped. “This usually happens when I come back.” 

“Don't worry about it. This isn't really the place to act squeamish.” Beth rubbed the back of her hand over her lips and wished she could have just a sip of water. 

“How long have you been here?” Beth asked her, as she was led back to her cot. 

“I don't know, what year is it?” 

“2016.” 

“Fuck me. Five years.” Now that Beth had gotten the nastiness out of her system she took a good look at the other woman. She was a few inches taller than her and quite pale, unsurprising if she'd been held for five years. She was also very thin, but HYDRA wasn't exactly known for their hospitality. She was wearing a pair of plaid boxer shorts, a man's undershirt that might have been white at some point, and a thick black collar around her throat. It was padlocked in the back, and there was a series of blinking lights along the front. Her hair was a tangled disaster, but Beth thought it might be a very pretty shade of dark blonde if she got the chance to wash and comb it. 

“What's your name?”

“Ali. You?” 

“Beth. What's the collar for?” Ali looked a little uncomfortable. “Sorry, you don't have to answer that.” 

“I just don't want to freak you out.” 

“You watched me come back from the dead ten minutes ago, I'll be okay.” She seemed to mull that over in her head.

“Touche. It's a deterrent.” She turned and lifted up her shirt. Light, silvery pink scars fanned out over her back and underneath the shorts. 

“What are those? And what do they have to do with the collar?”

“Lichtenberg figures. I was struck by lightning when I was fifteen, and by some weird twist of fate it didn't kill me. They're pretty bitchin', aren't they?” Beth laughed in spite of herself.

“And the collar?”

“I can kind of… Control electricity?” She looked embarrassed. “They stuck this on me after I kept trying to shock them. If it senses any electrical surges in my body it'll kill me.” 

“Is that why they abducted you? For your power?” 

“Probably had something to do with it. At first I thought they were from the government and they were arresting me for hacking.” 

“Like with computers? What did you hack? The White house? The FBI?” 

“MIT.” 

“That's it? You thought the government was arresting you for changing your grades?” 

“Hey fuck you! I earned all my A's thank you very much! I hacked MIT so I could go to school, a school that I got into on my own merit I might add. Just didn't have the money, so I had to flub some of the finer details.”

“Sorry, I didn't mean to insult you.”

“Eh, water under the bridge. So what's your story? I mean, you're like immortal or something?” Beth sighed and lay back on her cot. She hoped Bucky and the others had managed to follow the HYDRA helicopter. 

“I'm a HYDRA experiment. It's a long story, but basically I don't stay dead. And I can heal from anything.” She thought about her other abilities and decided it wasn't safe to say anything about them. There was no way of knowing who was listening. “They killed my parents and kidnapped me when I was twelve. A few months ago I was rescued.” She rolled over to hide her face. “And now I'm back.” _I promised I would fight and I fell right into their hands like the helpless fool I've always been._

“I'm sorry.” Ali said quietly. “I didn't mean to pry.”

“It wasn't supposed to happen like this. We did it so we could be free and happy. I knew this was a possibility but...” Beth bit down on her knuckles to muffle her sobs. “I don't know if I can handle this again.” _I just want Bucky, I just want to go home._

“Hey,” She heard Ali get up and walk across the cell. She flinched a little when she felt her hand on her back. “You were rescued once, it can happen again.” 

“He's coming for me, I know he is.” Beth replied. “That's what I'm afraid of...”

…

They had to land the quinjet a little over half a mile away from the HYDRA compound. Steve had to physically hold Bucky back from getting off to charge into the buildings. Punches were thrown, and both men sported impressive black eyes. 

“Are you done behaving like children?” Natasha asked briskly. “We need a plan before we do anything.” 

“That's what I've been trying to tell him!” Steve yelled, barely resisting the urge to point out that Bucky had hit him first after Natasha's 'children' comment. 

“The longer we sit here the longer they have to torture her! What's there to plan? Break in, shoot any and all HYDRA scum, find her, get her out, go the fuck home! It's not very complicated!” Tony pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned in frustration.

“There could be other innocent people in there, Barnes. If you can try to remember back to when Beth was first rescued, HYDRA murdered all of the other subjects. Beth was the only survivor. We want her back too, but we have to try to not get anyone else killed.” Bucky snarled at Tony but stopped trying to push his way past Steve. Instead he paced around the jet. 

“I could run in and get a look at the inside, find where they are keeping her?” Pietro offered. 

“You'll have to see how many other people their holding.” Steve told him after giving it a few moments thought. Pietro rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I know this.” 

“And try to get an idea of how many agents we're up against.” Pietro started muttering Russian under his breath in irritation. 

“Drop the attitude, and I know what you're saying, punk.” Bucky snapped. 

“So do I.” Natasha narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Apologies! But I know what I am doing! This is not my first mission.” Wanda laid her hand on her brother's arm to calm him. 

“They are just worried about Beth, Piet. They mean you no disrespect.” She kissed his cheek. “Be careful. Do not let them see you.” 

“I will be back before you know I am gone.” He rolled his neck and gave his legs a quick stretch while Tony lowered the ramp. As soon as it was clear, he disappeared. Bucky continued his pacing, Steve and Natasha checked their weapons, Tony activated his suit, and Wanda stared out in the direction her brother had left, eyes glowing red. She gave a light gasp, drawing the others attention, but before they had a chance to ask her what the matter was, Pietro was back. 

“Thirty five agents.” He stated, not the slightest bit winded. “She is in a cell with the only other innocent I could find, another woman. I think the rest of them are already gone. There are many body bags.” He said sadly. 

“We've had worse odds,” Steve said. “And it helps that they're in one place.” 

“So what's our plan?” Bucky asked. He punched Steve's shoulder lightly, catching his friend's eye. Steve offered him a small smile in return. Now that someone had seen Beth alive, some of his anger had evaporated. 

“Jerk.” Steve muttered at him. His face hardened back in the Captain mode. “Here's what we're going to do...”


	22. Chapter 22

The team split up and approached the compound from several different angles. Wanda and Bucky crept to the entrance closest to where Pietro had found Beth. 

“Don't do anything stupid, Buck. She wouldn't want you to be reckless.” Steve's voice sounded in his ear, making him growl in response. 

“I'm in control, _Captain_. You do your job, I'll do mine.” Wanda had never been paired with the ex-assassin, and eyed him warily. “I may not read minds but I can read bodies. Stop acting like you're expecting me to snap.” He hissed at her. 

_My apologies_. Bucky heard her soft voice in his head. He sighed.

_No, I'm sorry. Thanks for volunteering_. He thought back at her, and he saw the corners of her mouth lift slightly. They darted up to the door and Bucky nodded at her. Wanda's eyes went red as she reached inside with her mind, looking for Beth and any agents in the area. She gave him a thumbs up, indicating that she could hear Beth and then paused. After a few moments she held up six fingers. 

_There is one person with Beth, just as Piet said. Three men are very close, two seem to be eating, and there is one man in charge of watching the cell._ Bucky took a deep breath and cracked his knuckles before gripping his knife. 

_You ready for this?_ Wanda nodded and mirrored his deep breath, imagining a ball of energy in her chest and mind. With a move he had performed hundreds of times over his long life, Bucky kicked the door handle hard enough to break it and slipped in the door with Wanda behind him. They moved down the hall way quickly, staying as quiet as possible to maintain their element of surprise. The first three agents went down relatively easy, with Wanda manipulating their minds. Unfortunately, the last man managed a single yell of alarm before Bucky took him out, and two agents were running towards them in seconds. 

Bucky just barely pulled Wanda out of the way before a bullet ripped through the air. Her shock wore off quickly and she slammed the man against the wall, knocking the gun out of his hand. It distracted the other man long enough for Bucky to dispose of him. 

_They will have heard the gun._ Wanda thought at him. 

_We'll have to be faster than them._

…

Beth jumped to her feet when they heard the gun shot. Ali yelped, startled so badly that she fell off of her cot. A man went running past the cell holding a gun.

“They're here.” Beth breathed. 

“Oh my god.” Ali scrambled to her feet and hugged herself. “Okay. Calm down, calm down.” Beth looked over at her, feeling very uneasy. Ali looked as if she were going to be sick, she was trembling almost violently and bit her bottom lip until it bled. 

“What's wrong?” Beth asked her, alarmed. 

“I- Sometimes when I panic I- I-” She stuttered and closed her eyes tight as if she were concentrating on something very hard. Understanding slowly dawned on Beth and her heart started to race. 

“Oh! Hey, just look at me, all right? Deep breaths.” She gripped Ali's arms and tried to get her to make eye contact. “There's some people coming to help, they're gonna get us out of here, take that collar off. You can do this.” Ali's eyes were wide and terrified. 

“I don't want to die here.” Her teeth chattered. 

“You're not going to.” Beth tried to sound reassuring, but she started to feel a very faint buzzing under her hands. Before she could think, she slapped the other woman across the face.

“Fuck!” Ali pulled away from her and cupped her cheek. “What the hell did you do that for?” 

“You aren't panicking any more, are you?” 

“No, but I'm kind of pissed off!” Both women screamed when they saw the body of the man that had run by them a few minutes earlier fly past and land on the ground with a sickening thud. Ali held her head in her hands. “If people could stop throwing dead bodies around me, that would be really awesome!” Beth ran over to the bars and tried to see if anyone was coming. She would have recognized the sound of his boots any where. 

“Bucky!” 

“Beth?” She had never been so happy or relieved to see another person in her entire life. He came running around the corner with Wanda on his heels. 

“It is so good to see your face.” Wanda told her. Bucky reached through the bars the best he could and touched her. He needed to make sure she was real, and whole. 

“ _James_.” Tears ran down her cheeks, she couldn't help it. “I knew you would come.” 

“I always will.” He told her. “You find any keys, Wanda?” He asked. Wanda was looking over the body, trying not to think about what she was doing. 

“Found them.” She looked up at him, her face pale. 

“Well?” 

“The body… He is lying on them.” She said weakly. A blue blur appeared and Pietro was at his sister's side. 

“I will help.” Her twin pushed the body over so Wanda could retrieve the ring of keys. Beth turned when she heard a distressed sound behind her. Ali had fallen to her knees and was rocking herself back and forth. 

“Ali! It's okay, these are friends.” She let go of Bucky and rushed to her side. “You need to get us out of here, quick!” She yelled. “Come on, you've survived this long, you can hold it together for a few more minutes.” The door swung open and the three of them rushed in. “Do any of those look like it'll unlock this?” Beth pointed to the padlocked collar. 

“Oh no.” Wanda began to fumble with the keys after looking into Ali's mind. “Maybe this one?” Bucky took the ring from her shaking hands and tried it. 

“Shit, too big.” 

“Wanda, you need to get her to calm down.” Beth said, trying to keep her voice even. Red energy tendrils flowed around Ali and her breathing slowed down a little. Bucky tried another key and the padlock opened with a click. Beth pulled it off and Ali yanked it off her neck throwing it as far as she could manage. 

“Y-you need to g-get aw-way from m-me.” Bucky didn't wait to be told twice and scooped Beth into his arms. Pietro grabbed his sister and they started to run. 

“We have to help her!” Beth screamed. Bucky rounded a corner and paused to catch his breath. Light bulbs started to burst over their heads. 

“What's happening?” Pietro yelled.

“She can control electricity!” 

“Are you sure?” Bucky asked. “This doesn't look like control.” Something that resembled a bolt of lightning burst past the corner and hit the wall, leaving a large scorch mark. For a few seconds the only sound they could hear was their own uneven breathing. 

“Piet. Please, you have to go get her. We can't leave her.” Beth pleaded. Bucky had her in such a tight embrace, she knew he wouldn't let her go, or leave her side. 

“Do you think it is safe?” Wanda asked. 

“Listen. It's quiet. She was scared to death, they put that collar on her to keep her from using her power. It would have killed her if we hadn't taken it off.” The twins exchanged glances. “She isn't going to hurt you!” They all heard a low groan. Pietro seemingly made up his mind and zipped off. After a few moments he came around the corner, walking. He had Ali in his arms, and she was unconscious.

“I did not want to use my speed and risk hurting her.” He explained. Beth pulled away from Bucky and reached out to touch her. 

“Wait.” Bucky snatched her hand back. 

“I need to help her!”

“You can't do it here, what if it drains you?” He took a few steps over to Pietro and placed two fingers on Ali's neck. “Her pulse is strong, she just passed out. She's going to be all right.” Beth looked at her new friend. The dirty clothes she was wearing were in even worse shape now, littered with burn marks. “Can you guys get these two back to Vision and the quinjet?” Beth grabbed his hand.

“What? I'm not leaving you!” 

“I have to find Steve and the others, I need you safe.” He told her. 

“Then we'll find them. I need to see this finished.” 

“You're not-”

“Shut up.” She snapped. “Wanda, Piet? Please take Ali back to the quinjet.” Bucky sputtered at her and pulled her away a short distance to try and talk some sense into her. 

“You need to go with them, get out of here!” Beth gave him a little shove.

“Somewhere in this building there's a man claiming to be a doctor. If they haven't killed him yet, I'm going to look in his eyes and watch it happen.” When Bucky didn't move she pushed past him and started down the hall. 

“Beth, this isn't going to change anything.” She stopped and turned to him, her eyes were cold. 

“For sixteen years everything they did was on the orders of one man. Every time they cut me open, every time they came up with new ways to kill me, he was there, calling the shots. I know he got out the day I was rescued. They slaughtered everyone because he told them to, and then he walked away unscathed. If he's here, I'm going to have the satisfaction of seeing him dead.” 

“You said it yourself, 'if' he's here.” She started walking again, and he had no choice but to follow. 

“I have to know. I have to see.” He caught up with two long strides and touched her arm. “I've already come this far, don't you understand?” She asked him. 

“I do, that's why I'm trying to stop you. Your parents will still be gone, those sixteen years will still be gone; this isn't going to fill that hole.” Before Beth could respond they heard the repulsors on the Iron Man suit fire. The other half of the fight was heading their way. 

“Steve! What's happening?” Bucky spoke into his com. 

“They had some pretty advanced weapons.” He heard the out of breath reply buzz in his ear. “Something with these beams of electricity, Tony's suit is almost completely unusable.” He heard a grunt and the line went static. 

“Steve? Steve!” 

“Natash… Com out… Three left...” 

“Ugh!” Bucky punched the wall. “I've got nothing. I'm going over there.” He pulled a gun out of a holster and started running. Beth stood frozen, cursing herself. _Talk a big game, don't you? When it comes to following through with it you're a coward. You swore you would fight back and it took hardly any effort to get you right back where you started. You're a curse. Everyone that tries to keep you safe ends up dead._ A deafening crash ripped through the building, bringing her back into the moment. The vibrations from collapsing walls went up her legs, so strong they nearly knocked her over. 

“Beth, we have to get out of here, they will take care of each other!” Wanda called. 

“I can't leave him, I can't leave without knowing.” She answered. “Please, take Ali to the jet. Don't worry about me, okay?” Another crash, and it felt like the world was tipping. “Go! I'll be fine!” She didn't wait to see if they listened to her or not, she just started running in the direction Bucky had gone. 

She didn't know how long she ran for. Time felt like it had stopped. _The whole world is falling down._ Her heart beat like drum, she could feel it in every part of her body. Her chest burned, her legs burned, and the closer she got to the fight, the more she choked on the dust. After what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few short minutes she saw Natasha and Tony limping towards here. Natasha was doing her best to help him along, his armor was falling apart. The helmet was mostly gone, and blood ran down his face. 

“Beth, you shouldn't be here!” Natasha yelled. “Come on, come with us! Steve and Bucky can handle this!” She spared her only a sad glance, but continued to run. If Bucky was the destination, she would never stop running.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little on the short side, but I felt like this scene deserved it's own chapter. It's kind of violent, folks!

It was chaos. Whatever the weapons had been designed to do, it looked like they had done it. The closer she got to the fight the more debris she had to dodge. In some places, whole rooms were utterly demolished. Beth thought she could hear Bucky and Steve holding their own against the last of the HYDRA agents, but she was terrified of what she would see. She skidded to a halt at a corner, peeking around to try and get a visual on the men. Steve threw his shield with expert aim, knocking the bizarre weapon out of the agent's hand. Bucky was backing up his best friend, but his gun was trained on another man. 

Beth's breath caught in her throat. He was wearing tactical gear and holding his own gun, but it didn't matter what he wore. She would never forget his face. She had spent the past few months pretending she had, but she knew he would always be hiding somewhere in her mind, waiting to strike her when she was vulnerable. And right now he was hiding behind a partially destroyed wall, waiting for the chance to shoot the man she loved. She had seen both Bucky and Steve train, had heard many stories about missions they had been on. She knew how qualified these men were in combat, but seeing it actually happening was a completely different situation. 

Fights weren't clean, or calculated like training was. People fought dirty, they did anything they could to stay alive. Beth had known fear, but seeing Bucky covered in dirt, sweat, and blood; panting and exhausted… The terror cut right down to her heart. But she did have something on her side, none of them knew she was there, and she planned to keep it that way. Taking advantage of her tiny frame, she got down on the floor and crawled. 

She shoved her fist into her mouth when guns started going off, ignoring the grime that covered her skin, she needed to stifle her scream. When the remaining walls offered a little more coverage she pushed up to her feet and crept closer in a crouch. Her thighs protested the motion but she ignored the pain. Fifteen more feet and she would be close enough to ambush the doctor. Closer… Closer… 

The agent finally made a mistake and hesitated just a split second, but it was enough for Steve to hit him in the neck with a bullet. Beth was far too familiar with death for it to faze her much, but she still had to swallow back a yelp. That was her mistake. Bucky's eyes darted in her direction and the doctor fired. Steve did his best to pull him out of the way, but he was still hit. The bullet cut through skin, muscle, and bone and he went down. 

“No!” She screamed, abandoning all hope of the element of surprise. She saw Steve turned towards her but all she could hear was the hammer of her heart. 

“Steve,” Bucky gasped. “Get her out of here!” 

They both watched in horror as the doctor, the last remaining HYDRA agent lifted the gun and pulled the trigger.

Bucky and Steve swore for the rest of their lives, they would never forget what happened next.

When the bullet hit her, it seemed to pass right through her body. Beth stalked towards the man, absolutely consumed and lost in the feelings of guilt and grief. Steve nearly forgot to keep pressure on Bucky's wound when they caught sight of her eyes. Instead of the beautiful light they had seen her manifest when she healed someone, they were black as a void. All the times Bucky thought he had seen her eyes turn dark and empty flashed through his memory. The doctor fired again, and she didn't slow. It startled him so badly he dropped the weapon. Beth snarled and leaped on him, wrapping her small hands around his throat. He clawed at her, trying to shake her off but she clung to him. 

“You took everything from me, I won't let you take this!” The veins in her arms began to turn black, seeping down to her hands. The two men watched the darkness enter the doctor's body and he gasped more desperately for air. “Do you remember how you _laughed_ the first time you killed me?” She squeezed her hands tighter, cutting off his air supply completely. “It became a game for you. You whistled while you sliced me open.” The blackness was spreading through his body, and he sank down to his knees. “ _You will never hurt another person. No one will ever hurt me again._ ” With a strength they had no idea she had possessed, Beth let go of him long enough to grab his head and snapped his neck. 

“Beth!” Steve called out as the doctor's body fell to the ground. Those eerie, black eyes turned to him and he recoiled. “Beth, you need to help Bucky.” The blackness receded from her hands and arms and she blinked. 

“Beth, it's over. It's all over, Doll.” Bucky croaked. “I need you, Doll, come back to me.” 

“Bucky.” With a sob she ran to his side. The blood oozing out of the wound made her dizzy. She met his eyes, and he was relieved to see the normal stormy color he adored. “I'm so sorry, this is all my fault.” 

“Hey, none of that now.” He cupped her cheek and brushed away a tear. Her hands fumbled with his clothing, the light overtaking her eyes. 

“ _I need to see_.” Steve did his best to rip the fabric, finally cutting it away with Bucky's knife. 

“The bullet.” He told her, but she didn't seem to hear him. Her hands shimmered and she dug her fingers into the hole. Bucky clamped his mouth shut to muffle his scream. For several agonizing moments she rooted around in his body until she finally got hold of the bullet. When she yanked it out of his bone he couldn't keep the sounds of his pain in. Beth pulled her hand out and dropped the bullet. With a deep breath she pressed her hands over the wound and exhaled. Bucky whimpered, he could feel his body healing and it hurt. Bone popped back together and the pain took his breath away. She took another gulp of air and pressed down. Blood ran over her hands, but the healing light shone through it. An intense heat, like he had never felt before in his life burned through his body. With one last deep inhale, she cupped her hands and pulled away. Bucky and Steve stared in amazement while the skin knit itself back together, leaving only a dark and jagged scar. 

Beth fell back, staring at the blood dripping off of her hands. Her vision went black around the edges. 

“Beth! Okay, hold on! We're taking you home. You were perfect, you're safe now.” The last thing she saw was Bucky's face swimming before her. 

“I'm sorry...” She whispered, and sunk into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YIKES that was intense to write O_o  
> Thanks for reading, I love all your feedback! <3


	24. Chapter 24

Beth felt like she had gone through the proverbial wringer. It took a great deal of effort to pry open her eyes, they felt dry and gritty and the light hurt before they adjusted. She turned her head to the side and couldn't help but smile when she saw Bucky snoozing in a chair next to the bed, holding onto her hand. 

“Hey.” She murmured. He jumped as he woke up, relief evident on his face as he realized she was awake. 

“Oh, Doll. You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice.” He said gently and leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead. 

“How long have I been out?” She winced and reached towards the bottle of water sitting on the tray beside her bed. Bucky picked it up himself and held it up to her lips. 

“Three days.”

“Wow. It's never taken me this long to recover.” She sipped the water gratefully. 

“It wasn't exactly normal circumstances.” He stroked his hand over her hair. “Do you remember what happened?” Beth frowned slightly and thought back. 

“You got shot. He shot you.” She sat up and her hands fumbled at his shirt. 

“Calm down, I'm fine.” He lifted up his shirt and showed her the scar. “You came through for me, you probably saved my life.” Her eyes filled with tears. 

“But it was my fault. If I had just listened to you and gone with The Twins...” 

“Nope. No 'should haves'.” Bucky got up and slipped into the bed beside her, pulling her against his chest. “What else do you remember?” Beth sniffled and tried to calm herself down. She concentrated on the steady thump of Bucky's heartbeat and took several deep breaths.

“I was so angry. I've never felt that before.” She held up a hand and stared at it. It looked so ordinary, so small. “As soon as I saw his face again everything just flashed before my eyes. And then he shot you because I distracted you.” She pressed her fingers against his lips. “No, don't deny it.” He took her hand into his and brushed his lips over her knuckles. 

“Okay, I won't argue with you.” His eyes grew serious. “Why didn't you tell us about this doctor, or at least tell me?” 

“I-I couldn't. When I was rescued, there was a part of me that was sure it wouldn't last. I wanted to believe I was safe and he would never touch me again, so badly. I wanted to make myself forget. I hate him.” Her arms tightened around him. “I know he's dead and I still hate him. It makes me sick how much I hate him.” 

“So you...” He trailed off.

“Remember killing him? Yes.” She met his eyes. “I would do it again. I kind of wish I could. I'm sorry! I know that's awful and I know I need to let it go. It's just hard. He made more than half of my life a living nightmare.” 

“I'm the last person on earth that's gonna tell you to 'let it go'.” He dropped his head, resting his face against her hair. “I was so scared, Beth. I was terrified when they took you, I was terrified when I found you there… And then I looked up and saw you at the end of the fight. I thought my heart was gonna stop.” He pushed her away gently, and made sure she was looking at him. “I don't blame you for what happened.” When she stayed silent and looked down, he tipped her chin up. “I don't.” Beth finally nodded. “Back before everything, I had to look out for Steve. God that little punk did not know how to keep himself out of trouble. Then I left and I had to look out for everyone in my unit. Then Steve showed up and he was _Captain America_ , but he was still that punk with more morals than sense.” He paused and shook his head.

“I don't know that guy anymore. When I fell off that train, that Bucky died.” Beth wasn't exactly sure where he was going with the story but she stayed quiet and let him work through it. “The whole HYDRA thing, it's blurry. It's probably for the best, but the things I do remember… I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I know all about wanting revenge. For a long time after Steve found me all I wanted was revenge. For me, for the life I should have had, for all those people that had their lives destroyed by the puppet they turned me in to.” His jaw tightened in anger and she cupped her hand around his cheek, soothing him. “You got a long way to go, that's what I'm trying to get at.” He said finally. “You can never get that life back, from before. You can't erase what happened. But if you're willing to try, you can still have the life you deserve.” 

“I'm willing.” She said quietly. 

“I don't think I wanna see you go all she-demon again. Don't get me wrong that's going down as one of the most bat shit crazy, surprisingly awesome and bad ass moments ever, but I don't want you to put yourself in that situation again.”

“I honestly thought you'd be more pissed off.” 

“You were unconscious for three days, Doll. My temper had a lot of time to cool off. Plus, it's a little hard to stay mad at the person who pulled a bullet out of your body and healed you.” Beth laughed and nuzzled his neck. 

“Oh! What about Ali?” She asked. Bucky groaned and chuckled. 

“Shit. I was under strict orders to let her know as soon as you woke up.” 

“I'm sure she'll understand.”

“We'll see. FRIDAY? Can you let Ali know she can come see Beth?” 

“Right away, Mr. Barnes.” 

It took less than five minutes. The door flung open and a tornado swept into the room. Ali looked very different from the woman Beth met in the cell. She was clean, and dressed in a pair of new looking jeans and a _Stark Industries_ hoodie. Her honey colored hair had been cut, framing her angular face and stopped just above her shoulders. 

“Holy shit.” Ali whispered, her green eyes wide and glittering with tears. “You're really awake. You're real.” She walked up to the bed and fidgeted with her hands awkwardly. “Can I, um, hug you?” The request made Beth blink in surprise, but she nodded. Bucky stood up so Ali could lean in and wrap her arms around Beth. “ _Thank you_.” 

“For what?” Beth wondered. 

“If you hadn't done all that, I'd still be rotting in that place.” 

“I just got myself captured, Bucky and the others are the ones that did everything.” 

“But if you weren't there to be rescued, I wouldn't be here.” Ali started to pace around the room, looking at all the equipment that had been monitoring Beth's vitals. “Do you know where we are? _Stark fucking Tower_! I got to see Tony Stark's work shop! Dr. Bruce Banner examined me! I almost electrocuted him when he took my temperature I was so excited! I got an invite to stay here and work with them, fulfilling every single one of my wildest, most insane dreams and it's all thanks to you.” Ali stopped and looked Bucky up and down before punching him in the chest. 

“Hey!” She nearly knocked him over when she launched into a hug. 

“I told you as soon as she woke up! But I get it. You needed to talk and like, smooch or whatever. But still.” Tony, Steve, and The Twins poked their heads into the door. 

“All right if we come in?” Wanda asked. Beth grinned.

“Yes. I'm so happy to see all of you.” Beth felt herself getting emotional again. 

“You're a sight for sore eyes, kid. I see Pikachu beat us here.” Ali beamed.

“That's me! Tony Stark gave me a nick name!” 

“I still don't get the reference.” Steve muttered. 

“It'll wear thin, trust me. All his clever little names do.” Natasha said as she walked in. 

“I doubt it,” Ali giggled. “Don't worry, Stevie. I'll explain it later.” She told him with a wink. Beth noticed the tips of Steve's ears turning red and smirked. Bucky nudged her and she knew he had seen it too. 

“I'm starving.” Beth spoke up. “Can we get pizza tonight?” Wanda and Pietro started bickering about toppings, both of them bonding together when Tony added in his opinions. Beth just smiled and looked over at Bucky. She reached out her hand and laced her fingers with his. She couldn't get back what had been taken from her, but the life she had been given was more precious than she could have ever imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end for now! I'm open to a possible sequel, if there is any interest in one of course. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, this was my first attempt at an MCU fic and I had a lot of fun writing it.

**Author's Note:**

> I do have some pretty good ideas on how I want this to go/what I want to happen, but it's definitely a work in progress. If you liked this, PLEASE tell me; feedback will really help encourage me and/or let me know that anyone actually wants to read this. I haven't written anything in a hot minute and this is my first attempt at a Marvel story. Thanks for reading!


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